Gossip

I was recently asked what my opinions are about gossip. I sat down and started thinking about the deeper than obvious answer “I don’t like it when people gossip”. What is the reason for this, do you think? Well here is my summary:

Firstly let’s classify gossiping:  I believe gossiping is anything that you will not say to the person you are discussing’s face. This may be because of their reaction, because it is a secret or malicious intent. Thus if you can’t say it directly to that person, don’t say it at all.

When we gossip, the person we are gossiping too, knows we cannot be trusted.  We immediately expect that the person will do the same to us. 

Secondly when we gossip it is 9 times out of 10, that the other person is being criticized. This might make us feel better but has no good repercussions.  Sometimes one little sentence may have severely dire consequences, when they push the other person over the edge.

If we criticize no good can come from it, but when we discuss things in a positive manner rather than criticizing, too often than not, we will see a dramatic change in the reaction of other people. When we gossip or criticize people become reluctant to share things with us, they become distrustful towards us.

There is a phrase that goes: Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.

We damage the connections we have with our friends as they see us being polite and then when someone has left the conversation turn on them.  This proves to them that we cannot be trusted and generally the other person will immediately suspect us of gossiping about them too. So it starts a vicious cycle of distrust and dishonesty.  We can easily discuss something with the person if we just choose more positive words rather than bad mouthing a person.

With gossiping we generally wear a mask to hide our true self from the other person. On this I have only a little point I would like to raise.  If you have to wear a mask, have to pretend to be something you are not, why are you wasting time with someone who doesn’t accept you for who you are? Shouldn’t your friends love you for you and not what you pretend to be?

Remember next time you want to say something bad, would you say it to that person?

Consider life.

I have finished and incredible story this weekend which really got me thinking! So once the wheels start turning I end up here.


We live our lives in such a rushed manner, though we have hundreds of gadgets and things that are supposed to help save us time. We can cook a nice dinner in an hour where years ago it took hours to cook it over the fire or in a wood stocked oven. We have gadgets that keep us in touch with everyone, yet do we speak to the people we care about that often?

 Everyone has some problem or the other, which to each of us seems like we are trying to move a mountain. Yet there are problems that are real problems, like where is your next meal coming from? Are you wearing the only shirt you own?  If you are reading this the answer is probably no.  We have more clothes than we need; we have food to fill our bellies, but don’t know how to survive on just a cracker and jerky for example.

 I remember a time when I had to steal food to survive, my family can confirm the state I was in (although I hid it best I could) but we become complacent so quickly.  Do we really need so many clothes, toys, DVD’s etc?  The answer I believe is the following.  The obvious answer is NO.  Media and society has made it a requirement. You must have the nicest clothes, the nice car and we look to each other’s things to judge them and validate ourselves.  I have once again realized that though this is how it is done, we must remember that this is the wrong way!

We must validate ourselves and people by who they are not what they wear or own.  For those who know me, you’ll know I get underestimated a lot, due to my size and voice.  I am slowly but surely learning to let my soul seep through and shine as bright as it can.  I tend to wear my life and heart on my sleeve.  This is not something many people in our society still do, because we all have to be heroes.

We judge ourselves by what we own, and make debt to get the best which in turn gives us major problems.  I feel these problems are our own fault because we have lost our “respect” for money.  I use this word lightly as I am struggling to find a better one.  Money has started to rule us and our lives instead of us using it as a way to get what we need to survive.  What we have should be sufficient as it is all material, none of it can go to heaven.  It is our soul that goes to heaven.


Should we not take greater care of that? Are the souls of our friends and family not so much more important?  Should the love we have in a family and friends not be enough to make us happy?  When we pour ourselves out completely onto the people we love our lives become so full, we don’t need so much of the material stuff to fill the voids that are left when we do not share the amazing bond a family has.

 If our souls are strong and filled to the brim does anything else matter?  I believe the answer to this is also NO. Nothing else matters because we will see the good around us, share our burdens and be able to share life, this will leave behind a legacy none of us can comprehend with all the footsteps we would have engrained in the lives of the people around us.

 My challenge for you is this:  Feed your soul, your heart not your life.

Connect to those around you.

Don’t allow life to rush you by and take back control of life so you can live it.

May each and everyone take stock of your blessing and see even more on a daily basis!