My Story

Hi guys.  Today I am doing something I haven't done in a really long time (besides blogging).

I want to share my story as I know there are few that share it and understand my point of view.

I have always been thin, and small. I finished grade twelve on a mere 28kgs and wore kids clothes usually around 10 yrs.   Though this is natural for me, I was extremely unhappy and insecure. I have never been happy with me or my looks as I thought they were the same thing.

During the last few years I have come to a few realizations. Someone can love me for who I am.  Not everyone will like me and that's ok too. I have to do what's right for me. I can do a lot more than I give myself credit for.

A year and a half ago I started with weight training. I haven't gained much weight only about 10 kegs after having my two boys, however I have come to learn how to change what I don't like and work on making myself happy.  I am still what many people consider too thin but for me I am finally at a healthy and stable weight.

I am still the person everyone stares at when I wear something tight or short but at least now I don't want to run and hide all the time. I am still one of those that  a lot of girls hate on, but again I can now face them too.

I still struggle with people trying to force feed me, but I am now taking that as a old "boere thing" where food is on the table almost 24/7.

So I guess I am writing this to say don't give up. I wanted to give up weight training a hundred times but my trainer kept pushing me and I am finally starting to be happy with my physical appearance. It does take time but we need to learn to love ourselves. It took me way too long and I am not where I want to be yet but I will get there. If you have a goal, whatever it is stick to it. YOU ARE WORTH IT!  Don't let other peoples opinions stop you.  You might just be surprised about how little it actually is.

Today I am a lot stronger, healthier and happier with myself than I have ever been. I can actually lift my boys without getting hurt or telling them they are too heavy and my eldest is 8.

Hope this provides someone with some encouragement. I have not retread this piece or edited. It comes straight from one of my closets in my heart.

Family

We all have them and know we can’t choose our family.

I have recently seen how people are extremely nice to friends and acquaintances but not family. Yet if there is trouble the first people we contact is family.

I have seen how people bend backwards to help family and in the process get stabbed in the back yet with friends it’s not the same, we will never dare disappoint a friend.

Why is this, do you think?  Is it because we are so used to our family always being there? Because they are family we assume they will always help us and be there for us?

Whatever the case may be I want to remind people to take good care of your family.  The better you care for them the better they will care for you.  The more you show them how important they are to you the more important you will become to them. I am not talking about earthly importance but the general day to day importance. Like just a text to say you were thinking of them, a quick mail to catch up etc.

The little things we do for our friends that is not necessarily also done for our family. 

Taking a gentler tone when talking to someone you don’t necessarily like (hopefully just that point in time)

Maybe consider the reasons another person may be super sensitive.

Listen to what is not being said as well as being said out loud.

At the end the only people who will stick by you is your family, that is if you treat them right.

Your friends can leave at any time, some are fickle, and some stick through the hard times and sometimes life just throws you in different directions but the only ones who remain are family.

So treat your family with love and respect and dignity after all you can’t choose them but you can make the best of them.

Consider life.

I have finished and incredible story this weekend which really got me thinking! So once the wheels start turning I end up here.


We live our lives in such a rushed manner, though we have hundreds of gadgets and things that are supposed to help save us time. We can cook a nice dinner in an hour where years ago it took hours to cook it over the fire or in a wood stocked oven. We have gadgets that keep us in touch with everyone, yet do we speak to the people we care about that often?

 Everyone has some problem or the other, which to each of us seems like we are trying to move a mountain. Yet there are problems that are real problems, like where is your next meal coming from? Are you wearing the only shirt you own?  If you are reading this the answer is probably no.  We have more clothes than we need; we have food to fill our bellies, but don’t know how to survive on just a cracker and jerky for example.

 I remember a time when I had to steal food to survive, my family can confirm the state I was in (although I hid it best I could) but we become complacent so quickly.  Do we really need so many clothes, toys, DVD’s etc?  The answer I believe is the following.  The obvious answer is NO.  Media and society has made it a requirement. You must have the nicest clothes, the nice car and we look to each other’s things to judge them and validate ourselves.  I have once again realized that though this is how it is done, we must remember that this is the wrong way!

We must validate ourselves and people by who they are not what they wear or own.  For those who know me, you’ll know I get underestimated a lot, due to my size and voice.  I am slowly but surely learning to let my soul seep through and shine as bright as it can.  I tend to wear my life and heart on my sleeve.  This is not something many people in our society still do, because we all have to be heroes.

We judge ourselves by what we own, and make debt to get the best which in turn gives us major problems.  I feel these problems are our own fault because we have lost our “respect” for money.  I use this word lightly as I am struggling to find a better one.  Money has started to rule us and our lives instead of us using it as a way to get what we need to survive.  What we have should be sufficient as it is all material, none of it can go to heaven.  It is our soul that goes to heaven.


Should we not take greater care of that? Are the souls of our friends and family not so much more important?  Should the love we have in a family and friends not be enough to make us happy?  When we pour ourselves out completely onto the people we love our lives become so full, we don’t need so much of the material stuff to fill the voids that are left when we do not share the amazing bond a family has.

 If our souls are strong and filled to the brim does anything else matter?  I believe the answer to this is also NO. Nothing else matters because we will see the good around us, share our burdens and be able to share life, this will leave behind a legacy none of us can comprehend with all the footsteps we would have engrained in the lives of the people around us.

 My challenge for you is this:  Feed your soul, your heart not your life.

Connect to those around you.

Don’t allow life to rush you by and take back control of life so you can live it.

May each and everyone take stock of your blessing and see even more on a daily basis!

Dreams

Dreams

We have all had dreams but where have they gone?  Have we lost sight of our goals and aspirations?  Have we become stuck in the rat race with no excitement or major future growth to look forward too?

You would probably answer yes to at least one of these questions and I’d like to broaden the topic.

We all aspire to great things when we are children. We want to change the world. Boys want to become police men or brave fire fighters. Girls want to become doctors or nurses.  Most dreams are completely based on our ability to make a difference to the people around us.  Our original dreams were completely unselfish and pure.

However, we grew up.  We realized life is hard and you have to go through many trails in order to survive.  We also learned that along the way we have lost the natural ability to be unselfish and caring towards other people.  Compared to when we were children.

There are still people out there like this but in general we have all taken the motto “each man for himself” to heart.

What I wish to leave you with is this, remember those dreams, reconnect with the “little you” that is left , still hiding in your soul.  Reconnect with your dreams and aspirations.  Jot them down and adjust them to your current life style.  Have something to dream about! 

Doing interviews I realize that so many people are stuck in their lives and not aspiring to much, they have allowed their dreams to die.

Recapture them, live them and breathe them.  You are never too old to get a new hobby, to get the degree you have always wanted. To work for the big car you have wanted and STOP settling for the hum drum of everyday life!

We lost the need to be helped due to pride, this has caused others to lose the ability to help and feel needed. Get your motivation, the sparkle in your eye and the spring in your step back.  Take control of your life and LIVE it!

Are you a woman or an angel?

Today is just another day in your schedule of 100 things that need to be done.

Every day you run through your chores, you listen to every ones demands, you give them every part of yourself as much as you can, until you flop down in bed, utterly exhausted. Does this sound like your life? Does it feel like you are just a woman on auto pilot?

Well, here is what I want to share with you: You are firstly a woman, secondly you may be a mother and a wife as well.

A friend once told me that God created woman as this is the closest thing one will experience on earth, to His unconditional love. In other words, the only person who can love you more than a woman or a mother is God. How awesome is that?

Pro 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

 Acts 9:36 ……this woman was full of good works and almsdeeds which she did.

You have so much to do and so many people to take care of, family, friends, because you can handle it. Because you are strong enough to love everyone, there is always, somehow a little piece of you left.

On behalf of everyone around you, I want to say thanks for every bit of yourself you sacrifice for those around you.

I also want to remind you to take time to recharge, to re-align and re-energize. Take me time - like a ship sinking says "may day" get a "my day". You need me time, deserve me time and will only be able to give a better part of yourself have you done so.

As a woman you are there to support fellow woman, you are an integral part of a relationship, the keeper of the house (i.e. nothing can happen without you so, you are right they do need you) a professional in the workplace.
As a mother you are the primary caregiver, the most important building block for a safe and happy childhood. You have many hats you have to wear everyday from doctor, to teacher, to principle, to mom, to friend, chef, cleaner, nanny and so the list continues.
As a lover or wife, you need to be a seductress, a friend, a soul mate, always ready and waiting.

And all this in one day! But you can, that's why you are the woman. Women are angels sent by God to look after his cherished ones.

You can carry the world on your shoulders and you would still manage to care for every one. (Even if it doesn’t feel that way)

I would like you to realize the value you have as a woman, your importance in society, you are the one who influences the household, the mood of the coming day, the level of happiness in the house.  If you have children here is a test, notice how long it takes the children and your partner to pick up and reflect your mood?
If you have no children, how long does it take your partner to sense your mood and react to it?  It is so easy to influence those around us merely by our moods, because we hold all the power, as their guardian angels.

I hope this blog has shown you how important you are, not just as a woman or a lover but also as a mother.  I hope you can now look at your chores as deeds of love and service to every one that needs a piece of your heart. And in so doing will continue to enrich every around you and knowing how important your smallest deed is to each and every one of them.

Need a break?

Our lives are a constant rush to get things done. We are running around whether it is for daily chores, our jobs and the house and kids. The list of things to do never stops. You have responsibility to see the family, the friends and make time for your household.

We have to learn to step out of the rat race every once in a while. The reassess our goals and to make sure we are on the right track. Though working hard and being a busy person is not bad being too busy and going without a direction is. We need to congratulate ourselves for our accomplishments, whether it is at home, and work, personal or even just managing to get everything done in a hectic day. Buy yourself that bracelet; take yourself out for that dinner, or a glass of Champaign. You deserve it.

We have to assess our goals constantly to make sure we are heading towards them. It takes lots of baby steps to accomplish something big. Like that big house you have always dreamt of, or that dream holiday. It may take you 10 years to reach that goal but the pay off will be significantly more than if you got it, given to you on a silver platter and your gratitude so much greater.

Success in any endeavor does not happen by accident. Rather, it's the result of deliberate decisions, conscious effort, and immense persistence — all directed at specific goals.

~Gary Ryan Blair

List your goals and also keep a list of the smaller goals that you do achieve. Write them down so you can revert back to them for encouragement.

Every now and then you have to step back from your situation and reassess. Are you stressed, are you tired, do you need a weekend away? Do you need some quiet time; if the answer is yes to any of the above, why not take a break? Learn to say no, to take the time you need to recharge, not only for yourself but for the people around you as well. They will love and respect you for it.

Take a satisfaction break. Make a list of the accomplishments you are proudest of, and then read over your list and appreciate yourself for all your hard work. You've done a lot, so celebrate already!

~M.J. Ryan

Remember taking your break, and reassessing your goals and achievements will give you the strength, perseverance and will to carry on. It will give you the determination to continue in the rat race for your pay off. At the end of the day having a positive outlook because you know where you are heading and this will lead you into the future smiling.

Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

~Viktor E. Frankl