My Story

Hi guys.  Today I am doing something I haven't done in a really long time (besides blogging).

I want to share my story as I know there are few that share it and understand my point of view.

I have always been thin, and small. I finished grade twelve on a mere 28kgs and wore kids clothes usually around 10 yrs.   Though this is natural for me, I was extremely unhappy and insecure. I have never been happy with me or my looks as I thought they were the same thing.

During the last few years I have come to a few realizations. Someone can love me for who I am.  Not everyone will like me and that's ok too. I have to do what's right for me. I can do a lot more than I give myself credit for.

A year and a half ago I started with weight training. I haven't gained much weight only about 10 kegs after having my two boys, however I have come to learn how to change what I don't like and work on making myself happy.  I am still what many people consider too thin but for me I am finally at a healthy and stable weight.

I am still the person everyone stares at when I wear something tight or short but at least now I don't want to run and hide all the time. I am still one of those that  a lot of girls hate on, but again I can now face them too.

I still struggle with people trying to force feed me, but I am now taking that as a old "boere thing" where food is on the table almost 24/7.

So I guess I am writing this to say don't give up. I wanted to give up weight training a hundred times but my trainer kept pushing me and I am finally starting to be happy with my physical appearance. It does take time but we need to learn to love ourselves. It took me way too long and I am not where I want to be yet but I will get there. If you have a goal, whatever it is stick to it. YOU ARE WORTH IT!  Don't let other peoples opinions stop you.  You might just be surprised about how little it actually is.

Today I am a lot stronger, healthier and happier with myself than I have ever been. I can actually lift my boys without getting hurt or telling them they are too heavy and my eldest is 8.

Hope this provides someone with some encouragement. I have not retread this piece or edited. It comes straight from one of my closets in my heart.

Gossip

I was recently asked what my opinions are about gossip. I sat down and started thinking about the deeper than obvious answer “I don’t like it when people gossip”. What is the reason for this, do you think? Well here is my summary:

Firstly let’s classify gossiping:  I believe gossiping is anything that you will not say to the person you are discussing’s face. This may be because of their reaction, because it is a secret or malicious intent. Thus if you can’t say it directly to that person, don’t say it at all.

When we gossip, the person we are gossiping too, knows we cannot be trusted.  We immediately expect that the person will do the same to us. 

Secondly when we gossip it is 9 times out of 10, that the other person is being criticized. This might make us feel better but has no good repercussions.  Sometimes one little sentence may have severely dire consequences, when they push the other person over the edge.

If we criticize no good can come from it, but when we discuss things in a positive manner rather than criticizing, too often than not, we will see a dramatic change in the reaction of other people. When we gossip or criticize people become reluctant to share things with us, they become distrustful towards us.

There is a phrase that goes: Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.

We damage the connections we have with our friends as they see us being polite and then when someone has left the conversation turn on them.  This proves to them that we cannot be trusted and generally the other person will immediately suspect us of gossiping about them too. So it starts a vicious cycle of distrust and dishonesty.  We can easily discuss something with the person if we just choose more positive words rather than bad mouthing a person.

With gossiping we generally wear a mask to hide our true self from the other person. On this I have only a little point I would like to raise.  If you have to wear a mask, have to pretend to be something you are not, why are you wasting time with someone who doesn’t accept you for who you are? Shouldn’t your friends love you for you and not what you pretend to be?

Remember next time you want to say something bad, would you say it to that person?