When life doesn't play ball.

I haven’t written anything in a while as life has thrown me with a few curve balls this year.

Most of you know me and know I hate it when things do not go according to plan and do not run smoothly.

This year has been like that so far and at nearly the end of October the schedule seems to look like it is still going to continue on that trend.

On a more positive note we as a family have made some really big changes for our health and the effects of my studies are also clearly visible even to people who don’t know us that well.

What I have learned is to accept all the things that jump up through life while grinding my teeth and keeping a smile on my face.  At night I take time to recap my day and rearrange anything that needs to be changed. I.e. diet, finances, schedules etc.  This helps relieve some of the stress I feel when things do not go according to my desires and I remind myself that every day is a new day, a new page, a new chance to get some things off my to do list (even though it sometimes feels like for every one thing I remove I add three more).

With broken ribs, I was out of action for about 2 weeks and the other 4 weeks were spent gently getting back into routine. Some days it feels like I lost 3 months but it has brought my focus back which is always a good thing when you tend to be overly ambitious.

I guess what I am saying is do not get to carried away with the rat race, it’s just life, The little things you do are the things that count.  The time you take to great and chat to someone in the line, or the extra hug you give the kids, or the extra 10 minutes you spend with your partner.  That is what life is about, as for everything else, we can’t control it, so live life to the full.  Accept the challenges with a smile and ride them out.  There is a saying that you cannot see the top of the mountain when you’re standing at its foot.

List the small things that are important and concentrate on doing a couple of them every day, doing many small things are what gets you closer to your bigger goals. (And ticking many small items of “the to do list” does feel good, doesn’t it?)

So inclosing, don’t stress when life throws you a curve ball, get out your biggest baseball bat and hit back with a smile.

Till next time,

Written by Claire Meintjes

15 Things Wives Should Stop Doing

by Mary May Larmoyeux

In the 1960s, The Supremes recorded their hit song “Stop! In the Name of Love!” I remember singing the words as a teenager:  “Before you break my heart … think it o-o-ver …”

Even though I've been married for decades now, it's still important for me to consider my husband's needs. I should think about the possible effects of my careless words, attitudes, and actions before I break his heart. Can you identify?

I asked some girlfriends, “What should a wife stop doing if she wants to improve her marriage?” This list is based on their responses.

1. Stop thinking that your way is the “right” way. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it's wrong. When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, “I have to be in control.”

2. Don't put others before your husband. God designed companionship in marriage so that a husband and wife can meet one another's need for a close, intimate, human relationship. He even said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone.”

So what happens when you put your mother, a friend, or even a child before your spouse? Actually, you take a step (often unintentional) toward isolation in your marriage. If you choose, for example, to spend an afternoon shopping with your mom when your husband asked you to watch a football game with him, you may leave hubby feeling that he has second place in your heart.

3. Don't expect your husband to be your girlfriend. Most men and women not only look different physically, but also have unique ways of processing life. One example of this is the need for conversation. I don't know about you, but sometimes I'm guilty of wearing out my husband with countless conversational details that he doesn't really care about. Now if he was a girlfriend, all of those details would definitely matter!

4. Don't dishonor your husband. Suggestions included: Stop all nagging and don't correct hubby in front of others. If you finish your husband's sentences, you may be unintentionally communicating, “I don't really care about what you have to say.”

5. Stop expecting your husband to fail you as your dad failed your mom. “I spent many years waiting for my husband to give up and walk out on me, like my dad had years earlier,” said one friend. Her unfounded fears had robbed her marriage of much joy.

6. Don't put your husband on the defensive. For example, if you are driving around a section of town looking for a restaurant and he's obviously lost, does it really help for you to tell him that he's been going around the same block for the fifth time? One wise wife said that she's learned to be quiet in situations like this. Now, before she makes a comment, she weighs her words—asking herself: “Are my words needed? Would they be encouraging?” Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

7. Never use se x to bargain with your husband. Some women intentionally or unintentionally say to their husbands, “When I get what I want, you get se x.” However, 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 reminds husbands and wives that their bodies are not their own. “Do not deprive one another …”

8. Stop reminding your husband about things over and over. Don't make him feel guilty or nitpick him about small stuff. One friend said that when we constantly remind our husbands about diet, weight, medication, picking up the dry cleaning, etc., we are actually acting more like his mother than his wife.

9. Don't make your husband earn your respect.  Many women think, I’ll respect him when he earns it. But there's a reason that Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” As one friend said: “If women could learn to understand that respect is a man's native tongue, that it absolutely heals his heart and ministers to him like nothing else, it would make the biggest difference in the world.”

10. Stop giving your husband your long term to-do list. A colleague warns against overwhelming your husband with too much information. You may unintentionally cause him to feel like a failure, thinking that your long list means you are discontent. Or, he may incorrectly assume that you want him to do something immediately.

11. Don't act like your spouse is a mind reader. Instead, be specific about your requests. One busy mom said that she used to feel overwhelmed with household chores, wishing her spouse would help her. She now realizes that the only way he knows her needs is when she tells him. “Most often,” she says, “when I simply say, ‘Honey, will you tuck the kids in tonight while I get the kitchen cleaned up,’ he is glad to help.” She's discovered that a few words are all it takes “to change a resentment-filled, stressed-out night into a team-effort bonding time.”

12. Stop putting housework ahead of hubby. One young mom told her husband that she didn't want to make love one night because she had just changed the sheets and she wanted them to stay clean. What do you think that response said to her husband? Another woman, who puts her husband ahead of the housework, said: “Do not leave the unfolded laundry on your marriage bed.

13. Put an end to taking the lead because you think he won't take it. “The first many years of our marriage,” one wife said, “I would see what needed to be done and get frustrated that my husband would not take charge and get it done.” She went on to say that she's changed by learning to wait on her husband's leadership. “I really believe,” she says, “that our men don't lead because we women are too quick to jump in and take care of it all.” 

Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body … .”

14. Do not expect your husband to be Prince Charming. After all, the perfect husband only exists in fairy tales and your marriage exists in real life. One young wife said that instead of focusing on her husband's shortcomings, she's learned to recognize the wonderful things about him. What's been the result? He's been encouraged to do even more to be the man of her dreams.

15. Never look first to a book, a plan, or a person to fix a problem in your marriage. Instead go to God’s Word and believe and act on the things that He says. “He will lead me to any resources I need,” one woman said. “God has already given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) but we have to live according to the promises and expect Him to show up for us.”

A question

The Bible paraphrase The Message, says in 1 Corinthians 13, “Love never gives up … isn't always ‘me first,’ … doesn't keep score of the sins of others … trusts God always, always looks for the best.”

What do your words and actions say to your sweetheart about your love? Do you need to stop doing something in your marriage?

Before you answer, think it o-o-ver.





No matter who says what, you should accept
it with a smile and do your own work.
~Mother Teresa

Worth Repeating

Worth Repeating
Brenda Wood


Jeremiah 31:3 - The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. (NKJV)

I know that I've told this story before, but it bears repeating until we all get it! Several years after becoming a Christian, I still struggled with the after-effects of child abuse. Fear, rejection, and poor self-esteem remained a daily part of my life. In desperation, I sought out a Christian counselor.

"What would you say if God told you that He had a great gift for you?" she asked.

"I'd tell Him that He'd made a mistake and that He should give it to the next person in line," I sobbed.

We parted company early. As I fumbled for my car keys, these phrases dropped into my heart:

"Brenda, beloved Brenda. Be loved." "You are Brenda." "You are being eternally loved, overwhelmingly valued, and you are endlessly dear."

B-eing E-eternally L-oved! Who? Me? God loves me that much? The Creator of all things found me to be O-verwhelmingly V-aluable? I am E-ndlessly D-ear to the God of the universe?

And I finally accepted that free-for-the-taking love that God had offered all along.

Years later, I still repeat those treasured phrases to myself: B-E-L-O-V-E-D -- Being eternally loved, overwhelmingly valued, and endlessly dear.

Because I am loved, I'm able to love the people around me.

1 John 4:19 - We love because he first loved us. (NIV)

When others ask why I have changed so much, I share my little phrase: "You are Beloved: B-eing E-ternally L-oved, O-verwhelmingly V-alued, and E-ndlessly D-ear to God.

And as they accept these words into their heart, they, too, are able to love others.

James 2:5 - Listen, my beloved brethren: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and in their position as believers and to inherit the kingdom which He has promised to those who love Him? (AMP)

Prayer: Lord, how can we ever thank You for making us Your Beloved? For Christ's sake. Amen.

The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.

Do You want to get well?

“Do You Want to Get Well?”
Tommy Harrison

John 5:1-15

That's a curious question for Jesus to ask a man who has been sick for 38 years! But the disabled man's answer is just as intriguing as the question; he replied to Jesus, “I have no one to help me.” Imagine going through an excruciatingly long and terrible illness without anyone to help you. It is difficult enough with medical and family support. What I have learned about the power of sickness is that disease is not the only way to become sick.

Deteriorating values weaken the family unit, the core of our society. The more frail families become, the more difficult it will be to rebound from the sickness in our society. Children should not be taught morality in school, on the playground, or while hanging out with friends. They need the direction of parents who are grounded in biblical principles and who teach them to their offspring by instruction and practice.

How do we deal with crippling sickness in our churches? Strife and pride can rip apart a congregation and leave them beaten up, bruised, and bewildered by the turmoil.

More than a few nations are now overcome by sickness, weakened by the misguided teaching of tolerance toward an ungodly society, stricken by the hand of a dishonest, greedy government. When the bedrock of a country's faith is shaken by non-Christian laws and practices we suffer the consequences of our immorality. What is the answer to this dilemma? You will find the answer in our scripture lesson for today.

After pronouncing the man at the Bethesda pool healed, Jesus later found him in the Temple where two life changing statements were made:

1. Jesus said, “Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.”

2. “Then the man said to the Jews that it was Jesus who made him well.”

If God is ever to heal our families, our churches and our nations, we must first stop the sinning! Repentance is the first step to recovering our relationship with God. Secondly, we must confess that Jesus is Lord and He alone can make us well. Beloved, there is no other way to overcome the non-Christian influence which has spread like a runaway wildfire. If we continue to close our eyes to the problem it will engulf us; every ungodly act must be confronted with the truth of the Gospel. Measure every decision you make, and every decision that is made by people who represent you in government by the perfect standard of God’s Word. If it fails that test, it is a bad decision and will not please our Lord now or in eternity to come.


GospeLines Prayer: Father, praise Your Name for the promise, “If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land” Amen and amen.

The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.

Facing life like a gladiator!

We have daily challenges that we face some more so than others.

Our challenges differ from day to day and from each situation to the next. However we always get through to the next day.

Some challenges could be financial, marital, emotional and even medical.  This is part of life, not necessarily a part we like but a necessary part as it shows us a couple of things.

Firstly, it shows us at the end, just how strong we really are. We might feel like giving up but as the saying goes “you don’t know how close you are to the finish line when you give up”

Once you have crossed the “mountain” we often find that we were much closer to the end than we realized.

Secondly: It also helps us appreciate the times things are going well (It may feel much less in our current economy) but there are times where our worries escape our attention, even if it’s just for a little while. Concentrate on these times.  If you relax while watching movies, or a picnic, or perhaps while having a braai with friends, arrange to have them on a regular basis. Concentrate on what feeds your inner being. Find out what it is and make a place for it in your daily life.  (For me for example it is my silent time, one of the first things I give up yet the main thing that gets me through any hard time) It is important to also give yourself this distraction so you have the strength to get through your next challenge.

Also if you are facing challenges at home being stable at work helps give you the strength and determination to hang on a while longer. When there is trouble at work having a stable marriage can help you deal with that stress also. Having stable or reliable friends can help with family problems. It is very rare that problems not of our own creation go through ALL areas of our lives. Most times when problems are everywhere, we either have the wrong perception or have caused them indirectly. (There are some exceptions to this rule, we all know Murphy and how he works)

With the challenge you are currently facing, remember it makes you stronger! Braver! And more Resilient! Keep heart and charge on to your next one! Your challenges are for YOU and no one can handle your challenge better than yourself. So the next time you feel like giving up, remember you will eventually become your own life’s GLADIATOR!!!

Think of David and Goliath, Little David became a very prominent person because he chose to believe and not to give up!

Family

We all have them and know we can’t choose our family.

I have recently seen how people are extremely nice to friends and acquaintances but not family. Yet if there is trouble the first people we contact is family.

I have seen how people bend backwards to help family and in the process get stabbed in the back yet with friends it’s not the same, we will never dare disappoint a friend.

Why is this, do you think?  Is it because we are so used to our family always being there? Because they are family we assume they will always help us and be there for us?

Whatever the case may be I want to remind people to take good care of your family.  The better you care for them the better they will care for you.  The more you show them how important they are to you the more important you will become to them. I am not talking about earthly importance but the general day to day importance. Like just a text to say you were thinking of them, a quick mail to catch up etc.

The little things we do for our friends that is not necessarily also done for our family. 

Taking a gentler tone when talking to someone you don’t necessarily like (hopefully just that point in time)

Maybe consider the reasons another person may be super sensitive.

Listen to what is not being said as well as being said out loud.

At the end the only people who will stick by you is your family, that is if you treat them right.

Your friends can leave at any time, some are fickle, and some stick through the hard times and sometimes life just throws you in different directions but the only ones who remain are family.

So treat your family with love and respect and dignity after all you can’t choose them but you can make the best of them.

Power Of Dreams - Author Unknown

Some dreams are so clearly about a person who died. Here is an example of such a dream by a young child.

With his brothers and friends he went to bathe in a mill pool. He was only four or five at the time, and could not swim. In the recklessness of their-play, one of the children pushed him into deeper water. At that moment, the mill gates opened and water rushed through carrying him along. He was drowned – but some adults who were hastily called to the scene managed to pull him out and revive him.

As his father carried him home in his arms, the boy talked about his mother, who had died some years earlier and at first his father smiled at his story.

The boy said that as he went under the water he felt himself sinking down and down into darkness. Then there was a change and he felt himself rising up slowly until at last he rose to the surface.

He was in a huge sea. Around him, other people were also surfacing, and all were being gradually washed towards the nearby shore. There on the beach, people waited, and greeted those who were brought to them by the sea.

And as he himself drew near there on a small promontory were his grandparents waiting to welcome him – and in front – his mother, and she bent to draw him into her arms. She took hold of his hands and as she did so, a cross around her neck swung before his face. Sparkling in it were seven stones. But at that moment, something seemed to pull him away, and he sank into the sea and at last awoke on the riverbank.

The other half of the Story

At the conclusion of the story, his father’s condescending smile vanished. They were now at home and his father left the room, obviously deeply moved. Only years later did he tell his son the other half of the story.

The boy’s mother had died when her son was tiny and she had died on her birthday. For many weeks before, her husband had saved for a special present which he had kept secret. On her death, heart-broken, he had crept down to the coffin in the middle of the night, unscrewed the lid and given the present to his dead wife. It was a cross with seven stones, and the secret of it had been buried with her.

Pieces of the Pattern

Pieces of the Pattern
by Barbara Rainey

Make this tabernacle and all its furnishings exactly like the pattern I will show you.
Exodus 25:9

Back when I used to do a lot more sewing, I enjoyed looking through pattern books. It was fun to select the style I wanted and then cut out the small pieces of tissue paper that indicated what went where and how everything fit together.

But that's just it--all those little shapes that represent the sleeves and the bodice and the front and the back don't mean anything unless they eventually come together to form an article of clothing. Until the parts are applied in the context of the whole, they never achieve the purpose that was intended for them by the dress designer.

Many times in marriage, all we can see are the pieces. We see the romance part. We see the conflict part. We see the housekeeping part. We see the bill-paying part. We see the parenting part. But because we spend so much of our time focusing on the individual parts of our marriage, we don't always see them in the bigger picture our Designer had in mind

But the pattern is there nonetheless, and it's contained in the package of God's Word.

I want you to be encouraged that the pattern for your marriage isn't something you were responsible for creating. It's not based on feelings that can be strong today and much different tomorrow. The biblical pattern and plan for your marriage was created in the mind of almighty God, whose wisdom is unrivaled and whose love for you is beyond all bounds.

If you keep putting the pieces where they belong, His pattern will start to show. His design will take its beautiful shape in the form of your marriage.

Discuss
How might one of your current marriage issues fit into the pattern God has designed for you? What is the lesson He is trying to teach you?

Pray
Whatever part of the whole you're dealing with today, ask the Lord to help you handle it faithfully, according to His Word. Together as a couple, thank God for designing a master plan that incorporates your good with His glory.

What kind of sirt are you - by pastor Greg Lathe

"What kind of dirt are you?"


"And be sure to put into practice what you hear. The more you do this, the more you will understand what I tell you." Mark 4:24

In today's reading in Mark, Jesus tells the story of the farmer who sows seed. We know that the seed lands in different places. 1. path (which the birds ate) 2. shallow soil (grew quickly, but roots weren't deep enough) 3. among thorns (which caused seed to produce no grain) 4. Good soil (which produced great crops)

We can often hear parables or familiar bible passages and we kind of nod in acknowledgment of their point & move on, but we really should take the time to pause and evaluate "what does this mean for my life?"

Let's look at a few points we need to take away from this parable.

-Each of us are dirt. The Word of God has been planted in us. The question then remains, "Which kind of dirt am I?

1. The footpath. verse 15 says, "The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message only to have Satan come at once and take it away." What happens when you hear the word of the Lord? Is your mind so well worn by worldly influence that the voice of God is snatched from your hearing?

2. The rocky soil. "The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don't have deep roots, they don't last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God's word." (Mark 4:16-17) This doesn't describe someone living the balanced Christian life, it's someone living the "emotional" Christian life. There are tears at the altar, and jumping during the exciting worship, but because of lack of roots, it's the waves of trial that cause them to lose what they have. Are your roots deep? Are you connected to the Body of Christ in such a way that you can weather the storms of persecution?

3. The thorny soil. "The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God's word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced." (4:18-19) So many times I hear the stories of those who are "too busy" working or wrapped up in other concerns to do what God has gifted them to do. Some are paralyzed by worries and insecurities, and others are lulled to ineffectiveness by the lure of the illusion that things will be less busy "soon". God's message is crowded out.

4. The good soil. "And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God's word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!" There's one way to tell if you're good soil. Are you producing fruit? If not, what's the problem? What's holding you back?

Hosea 10:12 says "Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you."

It's your job to keep your soil in good condition. Only God can bring about a fruitful harvest in your life, but he has promised that if you care for your soil, he will do it.

Be GOOD dirt!


Through the Power of the Spirit,
Live the DREAM!

Pastor Greg Lathe

Words by Julie Bowles

Words
Julie Bowles


Proverbs 12:18 - Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (NIV)

The words we speak to one another are very powerful, and at times, we toss them about carelessly. I was recently on the receiving end of careless words tossed my way. The words that were spoken to me attacked my character and made me question if they were in fact a true representation of who I am. You see, those words had been true of me before coming to accept Jesus, but the person who spoke them did not know me back then. So when those words came my way, I began to question whether they were still an accurate representation of me now, in my walk with Jesus. I had prayed and sought the Word for an answer to this, but when no answer came immediately, I began to retreat and withdraw from people. Why did I do this? To protect myself from further hurt and also to protect others from the possibility that I was still of that character.

So how does God reach us and heal us during these times? He can speak to us through many means: the Bible, a Sunday sermon, a phone call, a note from someone, or something a friend says. At times, it happens that we just know that we know that God has spoken to us. For me it came through a simple three-word change that the Daily editor made to one of the sentences that I had written in another devotional, so that it read, "Am I like the cereal box, all flashy and showy, but giving friends a hard time seeing who I really am inside?" The Lord used this change as an opportunity to speak volumes into this situation.

Yes, I have been holding people back and not letting them into my life. I have been guarded with the people who have tried to come alongside me and help me through this time.

Psalm 12:6 - And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times. (NIV)

Thank God that He is not limited in His ability to speak to us!

Prayer: Dear Jesus, thank You that You work through others to bring healing into our lives. Help us, Lord, to come quickly to You and leave it at Your feet. We thank You that Your timing is always perfect in our lives. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen

Tips for moms

ometimes life runs ahead of us at 100 kilometres per hour and we struggle to keep up.

Here are a few tips I found helpful on staying on the road and in the running for God’s gift as a mother. (these come out of A mom after God’s own heart by Elizabeth George)

1.      Take time to nurture your heart.

You can only teach what you know; you can only teach faith by showing faith. Faith can only be had if we spend time nurturing ourselves (sometimes your quiet time will be on the floor with kids all over you but so be it, take the time, they need to see you do it too)

2.      Teach your children God’s word.

As we learn the verses we can teach our children to remember them with us.

3.      Talk to your children about God

Talk to them not just about what He is, but Who He is.

4.      Tell your children about Jesus

Tell them about Jesus and everything He did, and how much it all means.

5.      Train your children in God’s ways

This is fairly easy; His laws are what we need to teach our children and not the laws of the world.

6.      Take care of your children

Again do the best you can, give them your whole heart and take the time to give the hug when needed.(or even when it’s not)

7.      Take your children to church

8.      Teach your children to pray

Talking to God will help them feel connected to him, praying is not a difficult thing but it is extremely powerful.

9.      Try your best

God expects nothing more from you!

10.   Talk to God about your children.

You can share with Him too, about everything.

These are fairly simply guidelines but our lives sometimes interrupt our routines and we get side tracked.  I am merely posting this as a reminder for us all.

Sometimes our quiet times are spent in between doing dishes or in the car on the way to work, but we have to remember that our children need to see us practice it too, not just as a family but in private too. This helps them understand the position in your life too and not just as lessons for them to learn.  God is not an institution but a life line.  Some have not accepted his blessings yet, but we can show our children that we have and teach them the blessing they are and we receive as a family.  The little hugs and kisses and talks die too quickly as sincere talks and turn into a role that must be played out of responsibility.

Enjoy sharing His love with yourself and your family.

Life's Highway

We all plan our lives and live it according to what we feel we want out of it.

I have seen many things lately which show that we tend to feel life is out of our control.  Yes there is a destiny that we have and we can only control so much.  My question is this, is the frustration and turmoil worth it all?

Yes we can control life in the choices we make but it does throw us a curve ball every so often. I am not saying give up control at all, I am saying we need to concentrate on that which we can control, like our decisions and let the rest go. We need to stop worrying about things we hear might happen and only worry about them once they actually happen. Cross the bridge when you get there.

Things we can control:

Our emotions – we can choose our outlook on life and our outlook will affect our emotions. We choose every second whether something is going to bother us or whether we will ignore it. We choose to see the negative or the positive in a situation.  Once we have conditioned ourselves to look only at the positive, life will be so much brighter! When our emotions are under control, the mountains don’t seem like the same mountains we see when we are frazzled and stressed.

Our Time- Most times we can choose how to use our time. I have found that the more we do, the more we are able to do. You will find that when most of your time is spent on quality not quantity, this also leads to more feelings of fulfilment. Is it really necessary to wash the clothes now, when the kids want to play, or do dishes when hubby wants to watch a movie? Prioritising will show you how you can eliminate time wasters and concentrate where you can gain precious time needed.

Our mental wellbeing: we need to concentrate on relaxing and doing stuff we enjoy, To break the monotony of everyday life. We need to take time to prioritise our lives and ourselves. Take time to congratulate yourself on a job/project or something that you have done well. Go get that manicure or facial or read that book you have been wanting too.  We too often wait for other people to show appreciation when we don’t even show it to ourselves.

So take the time to organize chaos and turn it into managed chaos!

Woman of the House

 This is a fairly long one which I am going to try my best to compress as much as possible.

As the woman of the house we have so many roles to fulfil.

·        Homemaker

·        Accountant

·        Cook

·        Cleaner

·        Mistress

Now we add a family or children to the mix and you get

·        All of the above

·        Nurse

·        Teacher

·        Friend

·        Jungle gym

·        Doctor

·        mother

Luckily for us, we are woman which is only a couple letters short of SUPER woman!

Valentine’s Day is not just on the 14^th of Feb. It is everyday of the year! We don’t give our husbands credit because they don’t appreciate us. We don’t accept help because we try to convince people we are super moms. In my case I don’t go to the doctor when I am ill, because moms don’t get sick – there is no time for being sick.  Needless to say I was very ill and had to realize AGAIN that I am not super mom.  It is okay to ask someone to watch the kids for an hour so you can nap or go to a coffee shop to have a coffee alone and in peace! Yes I repeat it is ok.

I have found not through just the studying but experiments and experience that the more we accept help, the better we become. The more we praise our partners, the more they praise us, and will therefore be much more willing to help us in return again.  Men try to hide their emotions as we well know but they are extremely dependant on feelings of pride and sufficiency towards us.  They thrive on knowing we think they are good enough, they are the ONE for us, and they are what we need and that they can provide it for us.  Take this away and you will have endless problems. Men have 1 or 2 reasons for being, to be able to provide for his family, so there is nothing lacking and secondly to be his wife’s hero.

So my theory is this, make your man believe like you do, that he is good enough for you. Thank him for all the care he takes of you and the family and how he provides. (It is always good to list what you are grateful for from time to time) Show him how much he means to you – Yes girl you know what I mean!  

The more we give of what we want the more of it we will get back. Begging a man for something is definitely not the way to go.  And remember that they were born with a wild heart...to hunt and the have adventure and our current lifestyles do not allow them to have these emotions. So we should grant them the time to get these things, like allowing them to do the things we fear for them for.

So if you want to feel loved and appreciated – show your hubby how much he is, he will give you points for this, and in return do it unto you tenfold.

Self Perception

This is mainly for the women but the men who read it may understand us a little better.

We, as women, always look at ourselves critically; we cannot see what other people see in us.  Whether it be good traits, being pretty or looking good.  We always sell ourselves short. Examples like My hips are too big, My chest too small, my legs to thick or thin. There is someone who has no bum and wants one or has back problems etc.

We must remember that God made us PERFECT.  He does not make something that is anything but perfect. He does not make mistakes. Even though we might not think so, there is always someone who desires something that we have, whether it is a talent, our looks, or a personality trait.  There is always someone who wants something we have.

So why do we sell ourselves short?

I believe we have been indoctrinated by times and especially the media to have the perfect face and body. We listen to men comment on girls and wish we could get the same responses. (I believe behind our backs we do, but we will never hear about it). We need to behave in front of our own man in such a manner as to get those looks and comments. (Maybe just keep it behind closed doors, this will also prove an immense self esteem boost)

The solution?

I think the solution is to concentrate on inner beauty. Outer beauty is all superficial and fades with age in any way. Where inner beauty will be remembered long after we are gone.  This will also shine through and make us more beautiful on the inside. So it’s a win win situation.  I am not saying let yourself go. Do take care of your body; go buy yourself that sexy lingerie you have always wanted.  It does help with a self esteem boost.  As the saying goes when you feel beautiful you look beautiful, this in turn gives you confidence which makes you even more beautiful. Make a note of the compliments you do get and concentrate on remembering them!

So to each and every woman out there I want to say this: Remember you might not like how you look but there is always someone else who wants to look like you! Be proud of who you are and the rest will follow!