My Story

Hi guys.  Today I am doing something I haven't done in a really long time (besides blogging).

I want to share my story as I know there are few that share it and understand my point of view.

I have always been thin, and small. I finished grade twelve on a mere 28kgs and wore kids clothes usually around 10 yrs.   Though this is natural for me, I was extremely unhappy and insecure. I have never been happy with me or my looks as I thought they were the same thing.

During the last few years I have come to a few realizations. Someone can love me for who I am.  Not everyone will like me and that's ok too. I have to do what's right for me. I can do a lot more than I give myself credit for.

A year and a half ago I started with weight training. I haven't gained much weight only about 10 kegs after having my two boys, however I have come to learn how to change what I don't like and work on making myself happy.  I am still what many people consider too thin but for me I am finally at a healthy and stable weight.

I am still the person everyone stares at when I wear something tight or short but at least now I don't want to run and hide all the time. I am still one of those that  a lot of girls hate on, but again I can now face them too.

I still struggle with people trying to force feed me, but I am now taking that as a old "boere thing" where food is on the table almost 24/7.

So I guess I am writing this to say don't give up. I wanted to give up weight training a hundred times but my trainer kept pushing me and I am finally starting to be happy with my physical appearance. It does take time but we need to learn to love ourselves. It took me way too long and I am not where I want to be yet but I will get there. If you have a goal, whatever it is stick to it. YOU ARE WORTH IT!  Don't let other peoples opinions stop you.  You might just be surprised about how little it actually is.

Today I am a lot stronger, healthier and happier with myself than I have ever been. I can actually lift my boys without getting hurt or telling them they are too heavy and my eldest is 8.

Hope this provides someone with some encouragement. I have not retread this piece or edited. It comes straight from one of my closets in my heart.

Self Perception

This is mainly for the women but the men who read it may understand us a little better.

We, as women, always look at ourselves critically; we cannot see what other people see in us.  Whether it be good traits, being pretty or looking good.  We always sell ourselves short. Examples like My hips are too big, My chest too small, my legs to thick or thin. There is someone who has no bum and wants one or has back problems etc.

We must remember that God made us PERFECT.  He does not make something that is anything but perfect. He does not make mistakes. Even though we might not think so, there is always someone who desires something that we have, whether it is a talent, our looks, or a personality trait.  There is always someone who wants something we have.

So why do we sell ourselves short?

I believe we have been indoctrinated by times and especially the media to have the perfect face and body. We listen to men comment on girls and wish we could get the same responses. (I believe behind our backs we do, but we will never hear about it). We need to behave in front of our own man in such a manner as to get those looks and comments. (Maybe just keep it behind closed doors, this will also prove an immense self esteem boost)

The solution?

I think the solution is to concentrate on inner beauty. Outer beauty is all superficial and fades with age in any way. Where inner beauty will be remembered long after we are gone.  This will also shine through and make us more beautiful on the inside. So it’s a win win situation.  I am not saying let yourself go. Do take care of your body; go buy yourself that sexy lingerie you have always wanted.  It does help with a self esteem boost.  As the saying goes when you feel beautiful you look beautiful, this in turn gives you confidence which makes you even more beautiful. Make a note of the compliments you do get and concentrate on remembering them!

So to each and every woman out there I want to say this: Remember you might not like how you look but there is always someone else who wants to look like you! Be proud of who you are and the rest will follow!

Need a break?

Our lives are a constant rush to get things done. We are running around whether it is for daily chores, our jobs and the house and kids. The list of things to do never stops. You have responsibility to see the family, the friends and make time for your household.

We have to learn to step out of the rat race every once in a while. The reassess our goals and to make sure we are on the right track. Though working hard and being a busy person is not bad being too busy and going without a direction is. We need to congratulate ourselves for our accomplishments, whether it is at home, and work, personal or even just managing to get everything done in a hectic day. Buy yourself that bracelet; take yourself out for that dinner, or a glass of Champaign. You deserve it.

We have to assess our goals constantly to make sure we are heading towards them. It takes lots of baby steps to accomplish something big. Like that big house you have always dreamt of, or that dream holiday. It may take you 10 years to reach that goal but the pay off will be significantly more than if you got it, given to you on a silver platter and your gratitude so much greater.

Success in any endeavor does not happen by accident. Rather, it's the result of deliberate decisions, conscious effort, and immense persistence — all directed at specific goals.

~Gary Ryan Blair

List your goals and also keep a list of the smaller goals that you do achieve. Write them down so you can revert back to them for encouragement.

Every now and then you have to step back from your situation and reassess. Are you stressed, are you tired, do you need a weekend away? Do you need some quiet time; if the answer is yes to any of the above, why not take a break? Learn to say no, to take the time you need to recharge, not only for yourself but for the people around you as well. They will love and respect you for it.

Take a satisfaction break. Make a list of the accomplishments you are proudest of, and then read over your list and appreciate yourself for all your hard work. You've done a lot, so celebrate already!

~M.J. Ryan

Remember taking your break, and reassessing your goals and achievements will give you the strength, perseverance and will to carry on. It will give you the determination to continue in the rat race for your pay off. At the end of the day having a positive outlook because you know where you are heading and this will lead you into the future smiling.

Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

~Viktor E. Frankl