Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Consideration

Consideration

I have found lately that people tend to expect other people to make them happy; if you have been following my blog you’ll know I believe that we are each in control of our emotions, happiness and futures.

I have seen how people expect someone else to ensure their own happiness without consideration to their own actions, responses or involvements in their lives.

We have become self obsessed in our aim to protect and care for ourselves.  Media also claims that we must care for no one but ourselves.  If this is the case how can any person on earth be happy?  We can only be loved when we love someone else.  We can only be truly happy when we make someone else happy!  Take having a child for instance; it is not having the child that makes you feel complete or happy.  It’s in knowing they will always need you, want to be loved and are reliant on you. By giving them this, they return it full heartedly and thus the circle is complete.  Only with a complete circle can we feel loved and happy.

Arabian Proverb
If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart.

The less we give of our hearts the more things spiral out of control, I see many times we try to remedy this with silent treatment or ignoring the other person or so on.  This makes the little seed of anger and resentment grow into a full-blown tree that is waiting to break through the holds of your heart!

Helen Keller
Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

I write this to remind us all that whether we are right and whether we are wrong doesn’t matter.  At the end of the day it is our reaction to a situation or emotion that destroys our happiness.  Our happiness can be achieved by realizing that its a matter of choice and giving of one’s self!  I believe our soul’s composition was made to be shared and not kept for ourselves. 

So for tonight I ask you to do 3 things:
·        Forget your anger or resentment or any other negative feeling you may be having.
·        Let the people you care about know how much they mean to you! Yes do it all over again for the hundredth time!
·        And lastly i ask you to despite the reaction or event that has happened compile & share the list of blessings or things you can be thankful for!
May you have a love filled week!

Friday, 19 August 2011

Dreams

Dreams
We have all had dreams but where have they gone?  Have we lost sight of our goals and aspirations?  Have we become stuck in the rat race with no excitement or major future growth to look forward too?
You would probably answer yes to at least one of these questions and I’d like to broaden the topic.
We all aspire to great things when we are children. We want to change the world. Boys want to become police men or brave fire fighters. Girls want to become doctors or nurses.  Most dreams are completely based on our ability to make a difference to the people around us.  Our original dreams were completely unselfish and pure.
However, we grew up.  We realized life is hard and you have to go through many trails in order to survive.  We also learned that along the way we have lost the natural ability to be unselfish and caring towards other people.  Compared to when we were children.
There are still people out there like this but in general we have all taken the motto “each man for himself” to heart.
What I wish to leave you with is this, remember those dreams, reconnect with the “little you” that is left , still hiding in your soul.  Reconnect with your dreams and aspirations.  Jot them down and adjust them to your current life style.  Have something to dream about! 
Doing interviews I realize that so many people are stuck in their lives and not aspiring to much, they have allowed their dreams to die.
Recapture them, live them and breathe them.  You are never too old to get a new hobby, to get the degree you have always wanted. To work for the big car you have wanted and STOP settling for the hum drum of everyday life!

We lost the need to be helped due to pride, this has caused others to lose the ability to help and feel needed. Get your motivation, the sparkle in your eye and the spring in your step back.  Take control of your life and LIVE it!

Monday, 11 July 2011

30 Days to less stress

This is taken from an email from ivillage and one of there posts, it fits in well with whats on this site Enjoy!

Gulp Green Tea

This comfort drink naturally revs up the brain’s production of gamma-aminobutyric acid, a neurotransmitter that helps people feel calm, even when surrounded by complete chaos, explains nutrition researcher, Steven Pratt, M.D., co-author of the book, SuperHealth. Indeed, research suggests that sipping just three 10-ounce mugs daily can help frazzled people feel more collected in as little as 48 hours.

Treat Yourself to Some TLC

Surprise: A little self-pampering can go a long way to soothing stress. Studies show little self-indulgences like buying a new perfume or switching to a pretty new shade of lipstick, helps women reduce stress for up to 24 hours straight. “That's because these things focus the mind inward, away from anxiety-inducing distractions,” explains Vincent Giampapa, M.D., and author of The Anti-Aging Solution. “And that soothes overworked adrenal glands, reducing their output of cortisol, adrenalin, and other draining stress hormones.”

Spruce Up Your Screensaver

Simply gazing at a beautiful beach, forest, field or other tranquil scene stimulates the brain to produce alpha waves, electrical impulses that enhance feelings of relaxation and tranquility, say researchers at Britain’s University of Sheffield. And you don’t need to book a tropical cruise to make this stress-busting strategy work for you. Study authors produced these great results simply by asking subjects to gaze at pretty nature photos! So, sleuth out a soothing shot and load it as a screensaver on your computer for some quick calm.

Go For Whole Grains

“To quell stress and even full-blown anxiety, steer clear of foods made with white flour, and enjoy 100 percent whole grain breads and other healthy carbs, instead,” suggests Harold Bloomfield, M.D., author of Healing Anxiety Naturally. “This healthy eating plan calms up to 75 percent of stressed people studied, often in as little as two weeks!” The reason: White flour is so rapidly absorbed by the gut that it triggers wild ups and downs in blood sugar and that stimulates the adrenal glands to pump out an excess amount of stress hormones, explains Dr. Bloomfield. “But whole grains are absorbed a lot more slowly, so they keep blood sugar on an even keel and prevent nerve-jangling stress hormone surges.”

Shed Your Shoes

And take off your socks, too! Walking barefoot on soft carpeting, grass or any other plush surface stimulates pressure points on the soles that signal your brain to release the calming hormone dopamine, explains Elaine Wilkes, Ph.D., author of Nature’s Secret Messages. And research at Britain’s School of Complementary Health suggests that this sort of gentle foot massage can reduce feelings of stress as much as 33 percent. The study-proven strategy: Spend 10 minutes walking barefoot on lush grass, or a soft carpet or wiggle your toes along a fluffy pillow, instead.

Keep Track of Your Concerns

Feeling frazzled? Carry a pad and pen with you during the day, and whenever you catch yourself stressing about something, give yourself one mark. At the end of the day, add up your score. As you become aware of how much time you waste worrying, your daily score will automatically go down, say experts at the National Institutes of Mental Health. Why? Their research suggests that worrying is a time-sucking habit that people often fall into unintentionally. However, this stress-shedding trick prompts people to become more cognizant of mindless fretting.

 

Breathe Deeply When You See a Dot

A pack of small circle shaped stickers could be the key to calming your nerves. How? According to Belgian research, spending a few minutes each day breathing slowly and deeply (moving your belly instead of your shoulders) can trigger a 63 percent reduction in stress. “Deep breathing slows your physiological responses, calming the brain and nervous system the same way meditation does,” explains Herbert Benson, M.D., associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School. “The problem is that in times of stress, most of us forget to do this.” But posting dot stickers wherever you’re sure to see them regularly, like on your computer, your mirror and doors can help you quickly decompress. “Each time you see a dot, that’s a solid, visual reminder to take a deep, calming breath,” explains Dr. Benson. The result: You’ll shed stress in seconds!

 

Squeeze in Some Exercise

Just 30 seconds of intense exercise can tame tension for a full hour, say researchers at California’s Stanford University. That’s because, quick bursts of exercise boost production of serotonin and norepinephrine, mood-elevating hormones that help your brain stay 20 percent clearer and calmer during high stress times, explains Dr. Bloomfield. “Even a quick peddle on a stationary bike, a turbo-fast sweep of the kitchen floor or a quick sprint to the bus stop can give you this great mood boost.”

Munch on Trail Mix

Suffering from jangled nerves? Start, noshing! According to USDA researchers, trail mixes containing salted nuts, seeds and chocolate chips are the second richest source of magnesium, containing an impressive 235 milligrams of this essential mineral per cup. “And magnesium is a powerful, natural tranquilizer,” explains cardiologist Stephen T. Sinatra, M.D., author of Reverse Heart Disease Now. “This nutrient naturally relaxes muscles, lowers anxiety levels and even improves sleep quality.” Start snacking on a few handfuls daily, and Cornell researchers say you could be feeling less frazzled in as little as one week.

Speak Softly

Recent studies have shown one of the simplest ways to slash your stress levels is to simply sound calm, cool and collected. Why? Speaking in a relaxed tone of voice has been shown to significantly lower blood pressure, heart rate and stress levels, often within minutes! “Although no one’s sure yet why, a person’s speech has a profound effect on their own mood,” explains psychologist John Garrison, Ph.D., former director of Lahey Clinic’s Stress Management Program in Burlington, MA. “In fact, just speaking more calmly can reduce your own blood pressure as much as 10 percent.”

Put Your Feelings on Paper

Just writing about what’s stressing you out can make you feel far less frazzled, says Garrison. “Spelling, grammar, writing style and neatness don’t matter one bit, the trick is to just vent,” he says. “Letting off a little steam in this healthy way can quickly reduce pent-up anger and frustration and that dampens stress hormone output, allowing you to truly relax.” In fact, studies at Stony Brook’s State University of New York and elsewhere show writing about what’s bugging you for just 15 minutes three times weekly is so effective at easing stress, it cuts tension headaches, anxiety and other stress-triggered symptoms almost 30 percent.

Sing in the Shower

Getting a little wet and wild can lower heart rate and blood pressure, and trigger slower, deeper, more relaxed abdominal breathing, all in as little as three minutes, say scientists at the University of Wisconsin. The connection: When you sing, you naturally inhale deeply and breathe out in a slow, controlled fashion. And scientists say that breathing strategy naturally calms the brain stem and the cerebral cortex, brain regions that help control everything from heart rate and stress hormone output, to muscle tension and anxiety. Bonus: Any kind of music will work. The trick is to simply inhale deeply and sing with gusto!


Get a Lift From Lavender

Just a whiff of this sweet scent has been shown to spur a significant increase in stress-reducing alpha brain waves, often in as little as 60 seconds, say scientists at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. “You can get this powerful effect from sniffing the real flowers, smelling a lavender-scented candle or just by setting a small bowl of potpourri in the room you most often use,” explains lead researcher Alan Hirsch, M.D., the foundation’s neurological director.


Watch a Movie

In a study done at Dallas’ University of Texas, 85 percent of people admitted that just crashing on the couch and watching a movie was not only one of their favorite ways to relax, it was also their most effective way of chasing away stress! “Watching an upbeat movie is a fantastic way to relax, escape and get a better perspective on the week’s stresses,” says Garrison. “It allows you to take a mental break from your worries, and problems are often easier to solve once you’ve had a break from them so you can see them more objectively.” So have a movie night tonight -- and call it your stress-therapy!


Head to Bed Early

Surveys suggest 38 percent of people hit the snooze button at least once every morning. And this simple action can be enough to put your stress-o-meter through the roof. Why? Being repeatedly jarred awake is as stressful to the brain as chronic sleep deprivation, since it shocks you awake repeatedly, says Dr. Bloomfield. His advice: Head to bed 30 minutes earlier this week, instead of trying to sneak in more poor-quality winks in the morning, and recent studies reveal you’ll cut your stress hormone output as much as 37 percent.

Spread Some Good News

Chatting with friends or coworkers about acquaintances, as long as you’re recounting positive stories and passing along praise, helps 96 percent of people reduce their stress levels within 30 minutes. “That type of positive, uplifting human interaction stimulates the brain’s natural bonding instincts, lowering blood pressure and heart rate, and soothing the cortisol-producing adrenal glands,” explains Dr. Benson.



Hold Hands

Holding hands for two minutes boosts the brain’s production of oxytocin, a bonding hormone that soothes jangled nerves and lowers blood pressure for an hour or more at a stretch, say researchers at the University of North Carolina. That’s because oxytocin helps soothe the amygdale, the brain region that’s responsible for feelings of anxiety, researchers say. Can’t spot anyone to snuggle? Cuddling a pet for two minutes offers the same stress-shedding effect.



Get Crafty

People who spend at least 20 minutes doing soothing activities like knitting, or scrap booking, enter a light meditative state that dials down their production of cortisol, adrenaline and other stress hormones by 45 percent, helping them feel calmer and more relaxed for up to three hours afterwards, say Harvard researchers. Focusing your mind on simple, constructive fine motor tasks activates the brain waves that calm the adrenal glands, making them less likely to fire out a flood of stress hormones when life throws you curves, explains Dr. Sinatra.



Be a Busy Bee

People who putter around the house doing small tasks like sweeping out a closet, sorting through a junk drawer, or organizing their spice rack, burn off so much mood-dampening cortisol that they feel calmer and happier within 15 minutes, say University of Chicago researchers. Knocking some small, nagging jobs off of your to-do list provides a major feeling of accomplishment and that stimulates the brain to produce a flood of the calming neurotransmitter, dopamine. “For best results, select a little task that won’t take you more than 20 minutes to finish,” suggests Dr. Sinatra



Flip Through a Photo Album

Gazing at the photo of a loved one can de-stress you in as little as 60 seconds, by stimulating the release of the calming hormone oxytocin, says Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happy Families. Can’t cart full-sized photos around on the job? Hang a smaller one on your key chain, attach one to your car dashboard, or tuck one into a pretty locket to look at when you have a harried day.



Sip Hot Cocoa

It’s packed with phenylethylamine, a natural plant compound that binds to brain cells, boosting their production of the calming neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine in as little as five minutes. The study-proven strategy: Enjoy one 8 ounce cup of cocoa daily. Counting calories? Sniff a few squares of chocolate instead. Just savoring the smell of this sweet treat stimulates cannabinoid receptors, tiny receptor sites on brain nerves that alter brain wave patterns, producing a calm, relaxed sensation in less than two minutes, say UCLA researchers.


Make Time For a Massage

A five minute daily massage (whether you do it yourself or ask a loved one to help) is so relaxing, it cuts stress hormone production almost in half, and helps women function 50 percent more effectively under pressure, say University of Miami researchers. “The trick is to lie down, relax and do a two-minute body scan, first, mentally checking your body to find the muscles that are most tense and sore,” says Garrison. Why? You’ll get the biggest bang for your buck if you massage the sorest muscles, whether it’s your neck, shoulders, lower back or calves, because applying pressure to tight muscles stimulates the release of mood-boosting, calming endorphin hormones, he says.


Enjoy a Little Tub Time

Do you tend to pick speedy showers over leisurely baths, because you always have so much to do after your tub time? Well, consider this: Studies at Florida’s University of Miami suggest that a 20 minute relaxing soak activates the parasympathetic nervous system, a branch of the nervous system that helps calm and soothe the brain, cutting cortisol levels by as much as half and shielding you against stress for up to 12 hours straight


Brush Up

Dry brushing involves gently rubbing a soft, dry brush all over your legs, arms and back -- and for years, it was considered nothing more than a speedy way to boost circulation to the skin. But now doctors at California’s Stanford University say dry-brushing your legs, arms and back for just five minutes can cut edginess by 25 percent for up to three hours by stimulating thousands of nerve endings that work together to lull the central nervous system into a tranquil state. Their advice: Select a long-handled brush made of natural fibers, like tampico vegetable fibers, to make this stress-buster a breeze.



Give in to Giggling

Turns out, laughter really is the best medicine. That’s right, studies show yuking it up with a funny friend dampens stress and anxiety levels 63 percent, making giggles more effective than even yoga. “Shared laughter activates the maternal response in women, increasing their production of calming dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin hormones, plus it soothes the adrenal glands, so they’re less likely to produce a flood of stress hormones every time life gets a little hectic,” explains Elaine Wilkes, Ph.D.


Make a List of Lovely Things

Trapped in traffic? People who use chunks of this type of wasted time to jot down five things they’re grateful for spend the rest of their day feeling more optimistic, calmer and happier, thanks to the fact that reminding yourself of some of the blessings in your life automatically dials down your stress hormone output, says Dr. Benson. “And you don’t have to write down the same five things each time,” he says. “A sunny day, a delicious lunch, a loved one’s smile...if it made you feel grateful that day, you’ll reap the benefits by putting it on your list.”



Recite Your Favorite Poem

Relaying a poem out loud derails anxiety by forcing you to breathe deeply and rhythmically while focusing fully on the words and the pacing of the lines, according to recent research in the International Journal of Cardiology. And that chases away stressful thoughts, lowers heart rate and triggers a state of deep relaxation within 10 minutes. Any rhythmic poem that forces you to take slow, relaxed breaths as you read will do the trick, say the study authors.


Do a Good Deed

In a recent study, scientists scanned subjects’ brains as they played a computer game that allowed them to make charity donations or win cash. While both scenarios raised levels of the feel-good hormone dopamine, only charitable donations stimulated a rise in stress-soothing oxytocin. Interestingly, people who stand the least chance of their good deeds being noticed, such as those who make quick trips to a Goodwill drop-off box, experience the biggest oxytocin boost, notes Dr. Giampapa. “And that’s because helping others without fanfare activates the genes that elicit the maternal response, one of the most effective ways of soothing your brain when you’re surrounded by chaos.”



Slice Some Veggies

The rhythmic action and fine motor control required to do this task reduces stress by soothing the brain’s amygdala, two almond-shaped nerve clusters that kick-start feelings of nervousness, anxiety and even panic when people are under pressure, say UCLA researchers. Bonus: Ten minutes of chopping will not only soothe your amygdala for up to two hours straight, it will give you enough veggies to make a healthy, soothing batch of your favorite soup or stew



Sneak in a Few Stretches

When your muscles are constantly tense and tight, it stimulates your adrenal glands to produce a steady stream of anxiety-triggering stress hormones like adrenaline. Thankfully, just stretching for two minutes four times daily can relax muscle tension and dial down stress hormone production, boosting calmness and positive moods as much as 60 percent, say Cornell University researchers. To do: Loosen a tight back, neck and shoulders by doing gentle head rolls, shoulder shrugs and arm and leg stretches, then finish by straightening your now-relaxed spine and reaching for the sky with your finger tips, so your lungs can take in several deep, relaxed breaths before you dive back into your busy day

Monday, 4 July 2011

HArties Haven Project

Harties Haven Project              
The face of pure joy!


This project was dear to the hearts of everyone involved. On Friday the 1st of July we had our big hand over to the children of Jedidajah House. These are abused children who have been taken away or abandoned by their family.

To start off, I want to say thank you to every person involved in this project. I am sure that the children changed our lives as much as we made them forget their stories for just one day.  I am sure each person has given a piece of his or her heart to each of those children! As I am sure they will remember each of us as well. Thank you for giving your time, energy resources and a piece of your heart!

The haven teaches the children independence and you can see that the children are fairly happy.

We started off by redecorating the bedrooms with new linens and curtains along with some essentials like a towel, face cloth and some toiletries for each child. There are 2 girl’s rooms, a baby room, a boy’s room and a trauma unit. Each with 4 beds and a bathroom and sink.

After a KFC lunch which had the kids very excited we revealed our big finale!  The kids had no idea that they were about to receive gifts! From scooters, to sweetie hampers, to school bags with accessories to Rescue kits (complete with fire engine and moveable helicopter, dolls with prams) It was pure bliss to watch these kids rip open the paper and seeing  their total pleasure and gratitude for the gifts glow across their faces. Sometimes that heartfelt thanks had a couple of us on the verge of tears, as did little Rocky’s prayer!  I am sure none of us will ever be unthankful for the blessings we have received in our lives again!

The children now have their own possessions, that is their own and not the property of the haven.  As small a thing as this may be to us, it is quite important to these little guys and they truly appreciated it. As little Wilm said while getting on his scooter “mine, mine”. He spent the next hour about racing up and down the pathway on his new scooter.

I know for sure that my life will never be the same after meeting these children and spending the day with them. They have touched every corner of my heart and I am even more excited to have our charity concert on 17 September 2011 turn out a huge success.

So guys once the tickets are available share them so we can fill the hall!

A thankfull heart,
Till next time!

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Greed Vs Compassion



There are many instincts that we are born with the two I want to discuss today is greed and compassion.

I feel that compassion is more than having empathy with someone’s situation. It is about trying to understand it and in most situations there is a choice you can make. It’s the choice to help. Your help can be in a physical way IE that you can provide, food, money etc or it can be emotional IE a hug, words of comfort etc. We are made to help each other so; it is built into our genetics to have compassion for another human being. We can offer this neighborly service in such an array of ways the possibilities are endless.

Then there is the flip side to this emotion which is greed. It seems that this is becoming more and more acceptable and visible in our country these days. Many people have started focusing on themselves and no one else, not even their own families or workers or friends.  Greed is something that destroys the person who is showing these signs as well as everyone who may come into contact with such a person directly or indirectly. It is severely destructive and also has many facets of showing its signs. Whether it is greediness for money, affection, worldly items or even recognition or popularity, it destroys everything in its path. Sometimes this also shows as greediness for time in the sense that someone won’t make time for someone else, like in my case to let someone know they hit your dog. It would have taken 5 minutes to ensure the dog is ok, but instead they rush off without consideration.

We should practice our compassion. Offer that listening ear, the shoulder to cry on. Get rid of those extra blankets you had in storage for the last 2 years and offer a piece of your heart. Take the time to find the person whose card you just picked up, or to tell the person in front that they forgot an item at the till. The return is always seven times more if you are willing to wait without expectance. Let us bring humanity back into our society by caring that little bit more for others who will in turn care that little more about us. After all every one knows the saying “Do unto others as you want done unto you”. And “what goes around comes around” What will you do today to make someone else’s life a little brighter?



Controlling emotions


As human beings we have so many emotions that course through us. Women tend to rely on them a lot more than men do, yet we all experience them and react to each emotion differently.

We can experience happiness and joy but sometimes they feel so fleeting. We experience sadness and worry and they seem to stick around in our daily thoughts.

The reason for this is that negative emotions have more power on us, because we give them that power. Positive or happy emotions are great and need to be cultivated and concentrated on. Just like positive reinforcement, we have to work on our positive emotions and thoughts. We need to grow the seed into a tree that bears positive fruits.

This is a lot easier said than done, as we have all experienced at one point or another.

There is nothing wrong with feeling worried or down, but remember to count your blessing when you are down. Concentrate on the things in your life that are good and that will make you feel better. Even if the last thing you want to do is listening to your favorite band, put it on, soon enough you should be singing along. Sometimes we just need a little distraction from our own little world.

This little break in the cycle can put you in a better frame of mind, so that you can objectively look at your situation or emotions and make better decisions regarding your physical and mental wellbeing. This is naturally essential to us as well as those around us.

We draw other people down when we are negative, as well as affect our own quality of life. By concentrating on the blessings we do have we can break the cycle and make each day a little brighter. This is something that requires a lot of practice. There are days when you will fail but getting up and starting again is the only way out of the cycle.

By concentrating on the positive we will have a friendlier outlook on life. This in turn will draw people around you closer. We are always drawn to people that are light and happy. No one wants to have lunch with the office “moper”.

So take time to do something that ignites passion in your soul, which replenishes your mind and fills your heart! Be Happy

Thursday, 5 May 2011

In Too deep?

I have often wondered when you distinguish talent from something that was learnt.

How does one know that something you are attempting is the right course? You have the passion, the burning desire to make it a success but how? You are limited in your resources, how do you find the conviction to know whether you are making the right choices?

I have been dwindling with a new venture, in which I have very little experience but lots of passion. I am trying to find guidance and trying to learn as much as possible in order to succeed and have also been pushed hard into making this a success. This is also my dream, to be very good in my new venture, to make it a success, to have people requesting my services.

Now what I am wondering is, is passion and willingness to learn enough, to make something a success, or do you need actual talent?

Here are my thoughts: without other resources having the willingness to search for information and to have the passion for something, does allow a measure of success. Of course talent is not all that is required. Talent without passion is worthless. Passion without talent, well I believe you can learn technique, but will it be enough to rise above the rest?

I have committed to this venture and have even offered free services in order to gain experience, which I am hoping should compensate for the potential lack of talent.

I don’t believe that one must give up if you feel you are in too deep. On the contrary it gives me more motivation to prove not only to myself, that this is a possibility. We should not give up without knowing we have tried every avenue or contacted every person that could have input into our projects. Besides there is no such thing as failing, except when you fail to get back up.

So as my nerves are a bit on edge as I contemplate this further, know this – we all get in too deep, the question is can we get up and out of the deep waters without drowning? Like survival instincts, I believe that passion and determination will make you a success, though it may take a little longer than someone who has a natural talent for something.

Best of luck to all of you, in your daily lives and daily ventures!