Gossip

I was recently asked what my opinions are about gossip. I sat down and started thinking about the deeper than obvious answer “I don’t like it when people gossip”. What is the reason for this, do you think? Well here is my summary:

Firstly let’s classify gossiping:  I believe gossiping is anything that you will not say to the person you are discussing’s face. This may be because of their reaction, because it is a secret or malicious intent. Thus if you can’t say it directly to that person, don’t say it at all.

When we gossip, the person we are gossiping too, knows we cannot be trusted.  We immediately expect that the person will do the same to us. 

Secondly when we gossip it is 9 times out of 10, that the other person is being criticized. This might make us feel better but has no good repercussions.  Sometimes one little sentence may have severely dire consequences, when they push the other person over the edge.

If we criticize no good can come from it, but when we discuss things in a positive manner rather than criticizing, too often than not, we will see a dramatic change in the reaction of other people. When we gossip or criticize people become reluctant to share things with us, they become distrustful towards us.

There is a phrase that goes: Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.

We damage the connections we have with our friends as they see us being polite and then when someone has left the conversation turn on them.  This proves to them that we cannot be trusted and generally the other person will immediately suspect us of gossiping about them too. So it starts a vicious cycle of distrust and dishonesty.  We can easily discuss something with the person if we just choose more positive words rather than bad mouthing a person.

With gossiping we generally wear a mask to hide our true self from the other person. On this I have only a little point I would like to raise.  If you have to wear a mask, have to pretend to be something you are not, why are you wasting time with someone who doesn’t accept you for who you are? Shouldn’t your friends love you for you and not what you pretend to be?

Remember next time you want to say something bad, would you say it to that person?

Consider life.

I have finished and incredible story this weekend which really got me thinking! So once the wheels start turning I end up here.


We live our lives in such a rushed manner, though we have hundreds of gadgets and things that are supposed to help save us time. We can cook a nice dinner in an hour where years ago it took hours to cook it over the fire or in a wood stocked oven. We have gadgets that keep us in touch with everyone, yet do we speak to the people we care about that often?

 Everyone has some problem or the other, which to each of us seems like we are trying to move a mountain. Yet there are problems that are real problems, like where is your next meal coming from? Are you wearing the only shirt you own?  If you are reading this the answer is probably no.  We have more clothes than we need; we have food to fill our bellies, but don’t know how to survive on just a cracker and jerky for example.

 I remember a time when I had to steal food to survive, my family can confirm the state I was in (although I hid it best I could) but we become complacent so quickly.  Do we really need so many clothes, toys, DVD’s etc?  The answer I believe is the following.  The obvious answer is NO.  Media and society has made it a requirement. You must have the nicest clothes, the nice car and we look to each other’s things to judge them and validate ourselves.  I have once again realized that though this is how it is done, we must remember that this is the wrong way!

We must validate ourselves and people by who they are not what they wear or own.  For those who know me, you’ll know I get underestimated a lot, due to my size and voice.  I am slowly but surely learning to let my soul seep through and shine as bright as it can.  I tend to wear my life and heart on my sleeve.  This is not something many people in our society still do, because we all have to be heroes.

We judge ourselves by what we own, and make debt to get the best which in turn gives us major problems.  I feel these problems are our own fault because we have lost our “respect” for money.  I use this word lightly as I am struggling to find a better one.  Money has started to rule us and our lives instead of us using it as a way to get what we need to survive.  What we have should be sufficient as it is all material, none of it can go to heaven.  It is our soul that goes to heaven.


Should we not take greater care of that? Are the souls of our friends and family not so much more important?  Should the love we have in a family and friends not be enough to make us happy?  When we pour ourselves out completely onto the people we love our lives become so full, we don’t need so much of the material stuff to fill the voids that are left when we do not share the amazing bond a family has.

 If our souls are strong and filled to the brim does anything else matter?  I believe the answer to this is also NO. Nothing else matters because we will see the good around us, share our burdens and be able to share life, this will leave behind a legacy none of us can comprehend with all the footsteps we would have engrained in the lives of the people around us.

 My challenge for you is this:  Feed your soul, your heart not your life.

Connect to those around you.

Don’t allow life to rush you by and take back control of life so you can live it.

May each and everyone take stock of your blessing and see even more on a daily basis!

Are you on the Right track?

We all know we hold our future in the palms of our own hands. Sometimes however life throws us a curve ball and it feels like life is spinning out of control.

Sometimes we have to let it be, sometimes we have to “jump back on the horse and reel in the reigns” if you will.

We generally get what we give in life, but sometimes there is the rare occasion where we have to analyze what we are giving and getting back. IE in a business venture does it give the returns you have hoped for, or in a relationship – do you get the respect or love that you give?

Once this has been analyzed, we are sometimes faced with hard decisions not only about ourselves but our lives as well.  We need to take a deep hard look at ourselves, our actions, our results as well as every person in our lives.  If something doesn’t contribute to your life, is it something you should have in your life?

These are hard questions that need honest answers but after time usually bear fruit.  These fruit can appear quickly but sometimes the flowers don’t seem as sweet as the fruit.

This evaluation of your life can have a great impact, as many of us avoid it until something very serious happens, sometimes this might be too late.

Take the time to prioritize the things in your life.

Ensure you are getting what you deserve versus what you put in.

Leave the negative things behind and concentrate on building your happy future!

Consideration

Consideration

I have found lately that people tend to expect other people to make them happy; if you have been following my blog you’ll know I believe that we are each in control of our emotions, happiness and futures.

I have seen how people expect someone else to ensure their own happiness without consideration to their own actions, responses or involvements in their lives.

We have become self obsessed in our aim to protect and care for ourselves.  Media also claims that we must care for no one but ourselves.  If this is the case how can any person on earth be happy?  We can only be loved when we love someone else.  We can only be truly happy when we make someone else happy!  Take having a child for instance; it is not having the child that makes you feel complete or happy.  It’s in knowing they will always need you, want to be loved and are reliant on you. By giving them this, they return it full heartedly and thus the circle is complete.  Only with a complete circle can we feel loved and happy.

Arabian Proverb
If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart.

The less we give of our hearts the more things spiral out of control, I see many times we try to remedy this with silent treatment or ignoring the other person or so on.  This makes the little seed of anger and resentment grow into a full-blown tree that is waiting to break through the holds of your heart!

Helen Keller
Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

I write this to remind us all that whether we are right and whether we are wrong doesn’t matter.  At the end of the day it is our reaction to a situation or emotion that destroys our happiness.  Our happiness can be achieved by realizing that its a matter of choice and giving of one’s self!  I believe our soul’s composition was made to be shared and not kept for ourselves. 

So for tonight I ask you to do 3 things:

·        Forget your anger or resentment or any other negative feeling you may be having.

·        Let the people you care about know how much they mean to you! Yes do it all over again for the hundredth time!

·        And lastly i ask you to despite the reaction or event that has happened compile & share the list of blessings or things you can be thankful for!

May you have a love filled week!

Dreams

Dreams

We have all had dreams but where have they gone?  Have we lost sight of our goals and aspirations?  Have we become stuck in the rat race with no excitement or major future growth to look forward too?

You would probably answer yes to at least one of these questions and I’d like to broaden the topic.

We all aspire to great things when we are children. We want to change the world. Boys want to become police men or brave fire fighters. Girls want to become doctors or nurses.  Most dreams are completely based on our ability to make a difference to the people around us.  Our original dreams were completely unselfish and pure.

However, we grew up.  We realized life is hard and you have to go through many trails in order to survive.  We also learned that along the way we have lost the natural ability to be unselfish and caring towards other people.  Compared to when we were children.

There are still people out there like this but in general we have all taken the motto “each man for himself” to heart.

What I wish to leave you with is this, remember those dreams, reconnect with the “little you” that is left , still hiding in your soul.  Reconnect with your dreams and aspirations.  Jot them down and adjust them to your current life style.  Have something to dream about! 

Doing interviews I realize that so many people are stuck in their lives and not aspiring to much, they have allowed their dreams to die.

Recapture them, live them and breathe them.  You are never too old to get a new hobby, to get the degree you have always wanted. To work for the big car you have wanted and STOP settling for the hum drum of everyday life!

We lost the need to be helped due to pride, this has caused others to lose the ability to help and feel needed. Get your motivation, the sparkle in your eye and the spring in your step back.  Take control of your life and LIVE it!

30 Days to less stress

This is taken from an email from ivillage and one of there posts, it fits in well with whats on this site Enjoy!

Gulp Green Tea

This comfort drink naturally revs up the brain’s production of gamma-aminobutyric acid, a neurotransmitter that helps people feel calm, even when surrounded by complete chaos, explains nutrition researcher, Steven Pratt, M.D., co-author of the book, SuperHealth. Indeed, research suggests that sipping just three 10-ounce mugs daily can help frazzled people feel more collected in as little as 48 hours.

Treat Yourself to Some TLC

Surprise: A little self-pampering can go a long way to soothing stress. Studies show little self-indulgences like buying a new perfume or switching to a pretty new shade of lipstick, helps women reduce stress for up to 24 hours straight. “That's because these things focus the mind inward, away from anxiety-inducing distractions,” explains Vincent Giampapa, M.D., and author of The Anti-Aging Solution. “And that soothes overworked adrenal glands, reducing their output of cortisol, adrenalin, and other draining stress hormones.”

Spruce Up Your Screensaver

Simply gazing at a beautiful beach, forest, field or other tranquil scene stimulates the brain to produce alpha waves, electrical impulses that enhance feelings of relaxation and tranquility, say researchers at Britain’s University of Sheffield. And you don’t need to book a tropical cruise to make this stress-busting strategy work for you. Study authors produced these great results simply by asking subjects to gaze at pretty nature photos! So, sleuth out a soothing shot and load it as a screensaver on your computer for some quick calm.

Go For Whole Grains

“To quell stress and even full-blown anxiety, steer clear of foods made with white flour, and enjoy 100 percent whole grain breads and other healthy carbs, instead,” suggests Harold Bloomfield, M.D., author of Healing Anxiety Naturally. “This healthy eating plan calms up to 75 percent of stressed people studied, often in as little as two weeks!” The reason: White flour is so rapidly absorbed by the gut that it triggers wild ups and downs in blood sugar and that stimulates the adrenal glands to pump out an excess amount of stress hormones, explains Dr. Bloomfield. “But whole grains are absorbed a lot more slowly, so they keep blood sugar on an even keel and prevent nerve-jangling stress hormone surges.”

Shed Your Shoes

And take off your socks, too! Walking barefoot on soft carpeting, grass or any other plush surface stimulates pressure points on the soles that signal your brain to release the calming hormone dopamine, explains Elaine Wilkes, Ph.D., author of Nature’s Secret Messages. And research at Britain’s School of Complementary Health suggests that this sort of gentle foot massage can reduce feelings of stress as much as 33 percent. The study-proven strategy: Spend 10 minutes walking barefoot on lush grass, or a soft carpet or wiggle your toes along a fluffy pillow, instead.

Keep Track of Your Concerns

Feeling frazzled? Carry a pad and pen with you during the day, and whenever you catch yourself stressing about something, give yourself one mark. At the end of the day, add up your score. As you become aware of how much time you waste worrying, your daily score will automatically go down, say experts at the National Institutes of Mental Health. Why? Their research suggests that worrying is a time-sucking habit that people often fall into unintentionally. However, this stress-shedding trick prompts people to become more cognizant of mindless fretting.

 

Breathe Deeply When You See a Dot

A pack of small circle shaped stickers could be the key to calming your nerves. How? According to Belgian research, spending a few minutes each day breathing slowly and deeply (moving your belly instead of your shoulders) can trigger a 63 percent reduction in stress. “Deep breathing slows your physiological responses, calming the brain and nervous system the same way meditation does,” explains Herbert Benson, M.D., associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School. “The problem is that in times of stress, most of us forget to do this.” But posting dot stickers wherever you’re sure to see them regularly, like on your computer, your mirror and doors can help you quickly decompress. “Each time you see a dot, that’s a solid, visual reminder to take a deep, calming breath,” explains Dr. Benson. The result: You’ll shed stress in seconds!

 

Squeeze in Some Exercise

Just 30 seconds of intense exercise can tame tension for a full hour, say researchers at California’s Stanford University. That’s because, quick bursts of exercise boost production of serotonin and norepinephrine, mood-elevating hormones that help your brain stay 20 percent clearer and calmer during high stress times, explains Dr. Bloomfield. “Even a quick peddle on a stationary bike, a turbo-fast sweep of the kitchen floor or a quick sprint to the bus stop can give you this great mood boost.”

Munch on Trail Mix

Suffering from jangled nerves? Start, noshing! According to USDA researchers, trail mixes containing salted nuts, seeds and chocolate chips are the second richest source of magnesium, containing an impressive 235 milligrams of this essential mineral per cup. “And magnesium is a powerful, natural tranquilizer,” explains cardiologist Stephen T. Sinatra, M.D., author of Reverse Heart Disease Now. “This nutrient naturally relaxes muscles, lowers anxiety levels and even improves sleep quality.” Start snacking on a few handfuls daily, and Cornell researchers say you could be feeling less frazzled in as little as one week.

Speak Softly

Recent studies have shown one of the simplest ways to slash your stress levels is to simply sound calm, cool and collected. Why? Speaking in a relaxed tone of voice has been shown to significantly lower blood pressure, heart rate and stress levels, often within minutes! “Although no one’s sure yet why, a person’s speech has a profound effect on their own mood,” explains psychologist John Garrison, Ph.D., former director of Lahey Clinic’s Stress Management Program in Burlington, MA. “In fact, just speaking more calmly can reduce your own blood pressure as much as 10 percent.”

Put Your Feelings on Paper

Just writing about what’s stressing you out can make you feel far less frazzled, says Garrison. “Spelling, grammar, writing style and neatness don’t matter one bit, the trick is to just vent,” he says. “Letting off a little steam in this healthy way can quickly reduce pent-up anger and frustration and that dampens stress hormone output, allowing you to truly relax.” In fact, studies at Stony Brook’s State University of New York and elsewhere show writing about what’s bugging you for just 15 minutes three times weekly is so effective at easing stress, it cuts tension headaches, anxiety and other stress-triggered symptoms almost 30 percent.

Sing in the Shower

Getting a little wet and wild can lower heart rate and blood pressure, and trigger slower, deeper, more relaxed abdominal breathing, all in as little as three minutes, say scientists at the University of Wisconsin. The connection: When you sing, you naturally inhale deeply and breathe out in a slow, controlled fashion. And scientists say that breathing strategy naturally calms the brain stem and the cerebral cortex, brain regions that help control everything from heart rate and stress hormone output, to muscle tension and anxiety. Bonus: Any kind of music will work. The trick is to simply inhale deeply and sing with gusto!

Get a Lift From Lavender

Just a whiff of this sweet scent has been shown to spur a significant increase in stress-reducing alpha brain waves, often in as little as 60 seconds, say scientists at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. “You can get this powerful effect from sniffing the real flowers, smelling a lavender-scented candle or just by setting a small bowl of potpourri in the room you most often use,” explains lead researcher Alan Hirsch, M.D., the foundation’s neurological director.

Watch a Movie

In a study done at Dallas’ University of Texas, 85 percent of people admitted that just crashing on the couch and watching a movie was not only one of their favorite ways to relax, it was also their most effective way of chasing away stress! “Watching an upbeat movie is a fantastic way to relax, escape and get a better perspective on the week’s stresses,” says Garrison. “It allows you to take a mental break from your worries, and problems are often easier to solve once you’ve had a break from them so you can see them more objectively.” So have a movie night tonight -- and call it your stress-therapy!

Head to Bed Early

Surveys suggest 38 percent of people hit the snooze button at least once every morning. And this simple action can be enough to put your stress-o-meter through the roof. Why? Being repeatedly jarred awake is as stressful to the brain as chronic sleep deprivation, since it shocks you awake repeatedly, says Dr. Bloomfield. His advice: Head to bed 30 minutes earlier this week, instead of trying to sneak in more poor-quality winks in the morning, and recent studies reveal you’ll cut your stress hormone output as much as 37 percent.

Spread Some Good News

Chatting with friends or coworkers about acquaintances, as long as you’re recounting positive stories and passing along praise, helps 96 percent of people reduce their stress levels within 30 minutes. “That type of positive, uplifting human interaction stimulates the brain’s natural bonding instincts, lowering blood pressure and heart rate, and soothing the cortisol-producing adrenal glands,” explains Dr. Benson.

Hold Hands

Holding hands for two minutes boosts the brain’s production of oxytocin, a bonding hormone that soothes jangled nerves and lowers blood pressure for an hour or more at a stretch, say researchers at the University of North Carolina. That’s because oxytocin helps soothe the amygdale, the brain region that’s responsible for feelings of anxiety, researchers say. Can’t spot anyone to snuggle? Cuddling a pet for two minutes offers the same stress-shedding effect.

Get Crafty

People who spend at least 20 minutes doing soothing activities like knitting, or scrap booking, enter a light meditative state that dials down their production of cortisol, adrenaline and other stress hormones by 45 percent, helping them feel calmer and more relaxed for up to three hours afterwards, say Harvard researchers. Focusing your mind on simple, constructive fine motor tasks activates the brain waves that calm the adrenal glands, making them less likely to fire out a flood of stress hormones when life throws you curves, explains Dr. Sinatra.

Be a Busy Bee

People who putter around the house doing small tasks like sweeping out a closet, sorting through a junk drawer, or organizing their spice rack, burn off so much mood-dampening cortisol that they feel calmer and happier within 15 minutes, say University of Chicago researchers. Knocking some small, nagging jobs off of your to-do list provides a major feeling of accomplishment and that stimulates the brain to produce a flood of the calming neurotransmitter, dopamine. “For best results, select a little task that won’t take you more than 20 minutes to finish,” suggests Dr. Sinatra

Flip Through a Photo Album

Gazing at the photo of a loved one can de-stress you in as little as 60 seconds, by stimulating the release of the calming hormone oxytocin, says Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happy Families. Can’t cart full-sized photos around on the job? Hang a smaller one on your key chain, attach one to your car dashboard, or tuck one into a pretty locket to look at when you have a harried day.

Sip Hot Cocoa

It’s packed with phenylethylamine, a natural plant compound that binds to brain cells, boosting their production of the calming neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine in as little as five minutes. The study-proven strategy: Enjoy one 8 ounce cup of cocoa daily. Counting calories? Sniff a few squares of chocolate instead. Just savoring the smell of this sweet treat stimulates cannabinoid receptors, tiny receptor sites on brain nerves that alter brain wave patterns, producing a calm, relaxed sensation in less than two minutes, say UCLA researchers.

Make Time For a Massage

A five minute daily massage (whether you do it yourself or ask a loved one to help) is so relaxing, it cuts stress hormone production almost in half, and helps women function 50 percent more effectively under pressure, say University of Miami researchers. “The trick is to lie down, relax and do a two-minute body scan, first, mentally checking your body to find the muscles that are most tense and sore,” says Garrison. Why? You’ll get the biggest bang for your buck if you massage the sorest muscles, whether it’s your neck, shoulders, lower back or calves, because applying pressure to tight muscles stimulates the release of mood-boosting, calming endorphin hormones, he says.

Enjoy a Little Tub Time

Do you tend to pick speedy showers over leisurely baths, because you always have so much to do after your tub time? Well, consider this: Studies at Florida’s University of Miami suggest that a 20 minute relaxing soak activates the parasympathetic nervous system, a branch of the nervous system that helps calm and soothe the brain, cutting cortisol levels by as much as half and shielding you against stress for up to 12 hours straight

Brush Up

Dry brushing involves gently rubbing a soft, dry brush all over your legs, arms and back -- and for years, it was considered nothing more than a speedy way to boost circulation to the skin. But now doctors at California’s Stanford University say dry-brushing your legs, arms and back for just five minutes can cut edginess by 25 percent for up to three hours by stimulating thousands of nerve endings that work together to lull the central nervous system into a tranquil state. Their advice: Select a long-handled brush made of natural fibers, like tampico vegetable fibers, to make this stress-buster a breeze.

Give in to Giggling

Turns out, laughter really is the best medicine. That’s right, studies show yuking it up with a funny friend dampens stress and anxiety levels 63 percent, making giggles more effective than even yoga. “Shared laughter activates the maternal response in women, increasing their production of calming dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin hormones, plus it soothes the adrenal glands, so they’re less likely to produce a flood of stress hormones every time life gets a little hectic,” explains Elaine Wilkes, Ph.D.

Make a List of Lovely Things

Trapped in traffic? People who use chunks of this type of wasted time to jot down five things they’re grateful for spend the rest of their day feeling more optimistic, calmer and happier, thanks to the fact that reminding yourself of some of the blessings in your life automatically dials down your stress hormone output, says Dr. Benson. “And you don’t have to write down the same five things each time,” he says. “A sunny day, a delicious lunch, a loved one’s smile...if it made you feel grateful that day, you’ll reap the benefits by putting it on your list.”

Recite Your Favorite Poem

Relaying a poem out loud derails anxiety by forcing you to breathe deeply and rhythmically while focusing fully on the words and the pacing of the lines, according to recent research in the International Journal of Cardiology. And that chases away stressful thoughts, lowers heart rate and triggers a state of deep relaxation within 10 minutes. Any rhythmic poem that forces you to take slow, relaxed breaths as you read will do the trick, say the study authors.

Do a Good Deed

In a recent study, scientists scanned subjects’ brains as they played a computer game that allowed them to make charity donations or win cash. While both scenarios raised levels of the feel-good hormone dopamine, only charitable donations stimulated a rise in stress-soothing oxytocin. Interestingly, people who stand the least chance of their good deeds being noticed, such as those who make quick trips to a Goodwill drop-off box, experience the biggest oxytocin boost, notes Dr. Giampapa. “And that’s because helping others without fanfare activates the genes that elicit the maternal response, one of the most effective ways of soothing your brain when you’re surrounded by chaos.”

Slice Some Veggies

The rhythmic action and fine motor control required to do this task reduces stress by soothing the brain’s amygdala, two almond-shaped nerve clusters that kick-start feelings of nervousness, anxiety and even panic when people are under pressure, say UCLA researchers. Bonus: Ten minutes of chopping will not only soothe your amygdala for up to two hours straight, it will give you enough veggies to make a healthy, soothing batch of your favorite soup or stew

Sneak in a Few Stretches

When your muscles are constantly tense and tight, it stimulates your adrenal glands to produce a steady stream of anxiety-triggering stress hormones like adrenaline. Thankfully, just stretching for two minutes four times daily can relax muscle tension and dial down stress hormone production, boosting calmness and positive moods as much as 60 percent, say Cornell University researchers. To do: Loosen a tight back, neck and shoulders by doing gentle head rolls, shoulder shrugs and arm and leg stretches, then finish by straightening your now-relaxed spine and reaching for the sky with your finger tips, so your lungs can take in several deep, relaxed breaths before you dive back into your busy day

HArties Haven Project

Harties Haven Project              

The face of pure joy!

This project was dear to the hearts of everyone involved. On Friday the 1^st of July we had our big hand over to the children of Jedidajah House. These are abused children who have been taken away or abandoned by their family.

To start off, I want to say thank you to every person involved in this project. I am sure that the children changed our lives as much as we made them forget their stories for just one day.  I am sure each person has given a piece of his or her heart to each of those children! As I am sure they will remember each of us as well. Thank you for giving your time, energy resources and a piece of your heart!

The haven teaches the children independence and you can see that the children are fairly happy.

We started off by redecorating the bedrooms with new linens and curtains along with some essentials like a towel, face cloth and some toiletries for each child. There are 2 girl’s rooms, a baby room, a boy’s room and a trauma unit. Each with 4 beds and a bathroom and sink.

After a KFC lunch which had the kids very excited we revealed our big finale!  The kids had no idea that they were about to receive gifts! From scooters, to sweetie hampers, to school bags with accessories to Rescue kits (complete with fire engine and moveable helicopter, dolls with prams) It was pure bliss to watch these kids rip open the paper and seeing  their total pleasure and gratitude for the gifts glow across their faces. Sometimes that heartfelt thanks had a couple of us on the verge of tears, as did little Rocky’s prayer!  I am sure none of us will ever be unthankful for the blessings we have received in our lives again!

The children now have their own possessions, that is their own and not the property of the haven.  As small a thing as this may be to us, it is quite important to these little guys and they truly appreciated it. As little Wilm said while getting on his scooter “mine, mine”. He spent the next hour about racing up and down the pathway on his new scooter.

I know for sure that my life will never be the same after meeting these children and spending the day with them. They have touched every corner of my heart and I am even more excited to have our charity concert on 17 September 2011 turn out a huge success.

So guys once the tickets are available share them so we can fill the hall!

A thankfull heart,

Till next time!

Greed Vs Compassion

There are many instincts that we are born with the two I want to discuss today is greed and compassion.

I feel that compassion is more than having empathy with someone’s situation. It is about trying to understand it and in most situations there is a choice you can make. It’s the choice to help. Your help can be in a physical way IE that you can provide, food, money etc or it can be emotional IE a hug, words of comfort etc. We are made to help each other so; it is built into our genetics to have compassion for another human being. We can offer this neighborly service in such an array of ways the possibilities are endless.

Then there is the flip side to this emotion which is greed. It seems that this is becoming more and more acceptable and visible in our country these days. Many people have started focusing on themselves and no one else, not even their own families or workers or friends.  Greed is something that destroys the person who is showing these signs as well as everyone who may come into contact with such a person directly or indirectly. It is severely destructive and also has many facets of showing its signs. Whether it is greediness for money, affection, worldly items or even recognition or popularity, it destroys everything in its path. Sometimes this also shows as greediness for time in the sense that someone won’t make time for someone else, like in my case to let someone know they hit your dog. It would have taken 5 minutes to ensure the dog is ok, but instead they rush off without consideration.

We should practice our compassion. Offer that listening ear, the shoulder to cry on. Get rid of those extra blankets you had in storage for the last 2 years and offer a piece of your heart. Take the time to find the person whose card you just picked up, or to tell the person in front that they forgot an item at the till. The return is always seven times more if you are willing to wait without expectance. Let us bring humanity back into our society by caring that little bit more for others who will in turn care that little more about us. After all every one knows the saying “Do unto others as you want done unto you”. And “what goes around comes around” What will you do today to make someone else’s life a little brighter?

Controlling emotions

As human beings we have so many emotions that course through us. Women tend to rely on them a lot more than men do, yet we all experience them and react to each emotion differently.

We can experience happiness and joy but sometimes they feel so fleeting. We experience sadness and worry and they seem to stick around in our daily thoughts.

The reason for this is that negative emotions have more power on us, because we give them that power. Positive or happy emotions are great and need to be cultivated and concentrated on. Just like positive reinforcement, we have to work on our positive emotions and thoughts. We need to grow the seed into a tree that bears positive fruits.

This is a lot easier said than done, as we have all experienced at one point or another.

There is nothing wrong with feeling worried or down, but remember to count your blessing when you are down. Concentrate on the things in your life that are good and that will make you feel better. Even if the last thing you want to do is listening to your favorite band, put it on, soon enough you should be singing along. Sometimes we just need a little distraction from our own little world.

This little break in the cycle can put you in a better frame of mind, so that you can objectively look at your situation or emotions and make better decisions regarding your physical and mental wellbeing. This is naturally essential to us as well as those around us.

We draw other people down when we are negative, as well as affect our own quality of life. By concentrating on the blessings we do have we can break the cycle and make each day a little brighter. This is something that requires a lot of practice. There are days when you will fail but getting up and starting again is the only way out of the cycle.

By concentrating on the positive we will have a friendlier outlook on life. This in turn will draw people around you closer. We are always drawn to people that are light and happy. No one wants to have lunch with the office “moper”.

So take time to do something that ignites passion in your soul, which replenishes your mind and fills your heart! Be Happy

In Too deep?

I have often wondered when you distinguish talent from something that was learnt.

How does one know that something you are attempting is the right course? You have the passion, the burning desire to make it a success but how? You are limited in your resources, how do you find the conviction to know whether you are making the right choices?

I have been dwindling with a new venture, in which I have very little experience but lots of passion. I am trying to find guidance and trying to learn as much as possible in order to succeed and have also been pushed hard into making this a success. This is also my dream, to be very good in my new venture, to make it a success, to have people requesting my services.

Now what I am wondering is, is passion and willingness to learn enough, to make something a success, or do you need actual talent?

Here are my thoughts: without other resources having the willingness to search for information and to have the passion for something, does allow a measure of success. Of course talent is not all that is required. Talent without passion is worthless. Passion without talent, well I believe you can learn technique, but will it be enough to rise above the rest?

I have committed to this venture and have even offered free services in order to gain experience, which I am hoping should compensate for the potential lack of talent.

I don’t believe that one must give up if you feel you are in too deep. On the contrary it gives me more motivation to prove not only to myself, that this is a possibility. We should not give up without knowing we have tried every avenue or contacted every person that could have input into our projects. Besides there is no such thing as failing, except when you fail to get back up.

So as my nerves are a bit on edge as I contemplate this further, know this – we all get in too deep, the question is can we get up and out of the deep waters without drowning? Like survival instincts, I believe that passion and determination will make you a success, though it may take a little longer than someone who has a natural talent for something.

Best of luck to all of you, in your daily lives and daily ventures!

Easter celebrations!

Easter is coming!

We are approaching the long weekend, where the chocolate and hot cross buns will be flowing. There are lots of treasure hunts and bunnies with Easter eggs running around.

This is a period of the Christian religion which is crucial to everything we believe in and it has also been commercialized in order to make money out of everyone. Stand back and appreciate it without falling for the commercial hype!

The true meaning of Easter has been taken away and replaced by things the people know we would love, like fluffy bunnies, chocolate and egg hunts with the children.

While I am not against this in any way, shape or form, I do believe that we should sit back and remember the true meaning around Easter.

At the beginning, it was a pagan ritual celebrating rebirth and renewal as spring came around. Later it became a period that Christians celebrate as Pentecost usually ends in March or April. So the two were being celebrated at the same time, and this became the Easter celebrations.

The meaning of Easter also symbolizes the complete verification of all that Jesus preached and taught during His three-year ministry. If He had not risen from the dead, if He had merely died and not been resurrected, He would have been considered just another teacher or Rabbi. However, His resurrection changed all that and gave final and irrefutable proof that He was really the Son of God and that He had conquered death once and for all. (Excerpt from http://www.allaboutjesuschrist.org/)

Popular traditions are going to church for the 2 days, Easter eggs and the bunnies, I have also added the origin for you below courtesy of http://www.houstiniaonline.com/.

One popular tradition is the painting of Easter eggs.

Eggs were forbidden during Lent in medieval Europe, so any laid in that time were preserved, usually by boiling. When Easter would finally come, eggs played a big role in the feast, and soon evolved into decorated and styled gifts.

Many ancient cultures also found eggs to be a sign of new life, symbolic of Christ's rebirth.

Much like Easter eggs, another figure often acquainted with the holiday is the Easter Bunny.

The rabbit, which symbolizes fertility, was introduced to Easter lore in Germany. A story of an "Easter hare" who laid eggs for children to find was shared in the country.

People would bake cakes, shaped like rabbits, which may have started the practice of making chocolate bunnies and eggs. The tradition was spread by German immigrants on their way to America.

And, the traditions of Easter Sunday, now centuries old, are still practiced today, and many Christians believe that what the holiday stands for should be discussed year round.

"The gravity of what Easter is supposed to be about is a lifestyle, it's not something you should seek to do one day a year," Basker said. "You don't have to wait for one day to be thankful. People shouldn't feel confined by the day. Don't let the day define you, define the day."

Jesus Christ sacrificed living like a prince to come to earth, to live among us, to experience trials like a human. To be treated in the worst manner, to be insulted and severely abused, so mutilated that He was not recognizable as a man. To be hung and nailed to a cross because he so loved each of us. He was willing to give up everything to save our souls. He paid the highest price so we do not have too, so we can just believe and receive everlasting life. His resurrection has proven all He said was true.

So let’s use this time to show that we do appreciate the offer that was made and teach those around us, the value of it. And carry on with it through the year.

As you can see this is an important time especially for Christians, so I just want to remind everyone, of the severe price Jesus came to pay for us and how He confirmed his teachings with him rising from the dead.

So I say to you, May you have a blessed Easter holiday and may the love He showed each and every one of us, touch you and carry you through every day and may you shine His love into every one you come into contact with. Remember to spread the news and share His love with everyone!

Good vs evil.

We have all been taught about good and evil. We know what is right and what is wrong.

Somehow in society these lines have become very blurred. This blog is something I feel very strongly about and it is a very personal piece, so please bear with me.

We were taught that pulling rude faces or swearing or to kill is wrong. To hurt someone or say bad things are wrong. Yet how easily do we judge or scold or talk about someone behind their back. It has become the norm.

Now what I really want to discuss is how the evil in our everyday lives, have become normal and we do not flinch when someone sings a song that insults Jesus or wears a demonic outfit. We do not flinch when we watch horror movies or see accidents or dead people on the news.  We have become so desensitized that even our children are seeing and hearing these things, on a daily basis and we wonder why they have become violent.

I can name lots of examples but I will just list a few, Lady Gaga’s has 2 songs, Fernando and Judas. Comparing their meanings and words next to each other shows us how it has become acceptable in society, that demonic powers are visible and blatant. I know there are many who disagree with me here, but the proof is in the pudding. This is not just about Christian religion (which I am) but most religions preach the same values.

We need to sensor our lives as; we were censored when we were raised. We need to watch the films with our kids to see the whole story with them. Lots of Animated movies these days have a PG rating of 10, and we have 5 year olds watching PG 10 movies or WWE, and we wonder why we have become a violent society.

Many children are not ready for WWE or Casper or Scooby doo at such a young age. WE have children staying awake at night afraid of ghosts; we have teens having sex by 13 and parents by the age of 16. I feel somewhere we as society may have sacrificed our humanity and morals for the lights, riches and promises “Hollywood” offers, which in the end leads to the damned.

The war is waging and we are not paying attention! Be vigilant and protect yourself, your mind, your heart and your children!

Please consider this carefully and feel free to discuss it if you want more examples.

Are you a woman or an angel?

Today is just another day in your schedule of 100 things that need to be done.

Every day you run through your chores, you listen to every ones demands, you give them every part of yourself as much as you can, until you flop down in bed, utterly exhausted. Does this sound like your life? Does it feel like you are just a woman on auto pilot?

Well, here is what I want to share with you: You are firstly a woman, secondly you may be a mother and a wife as well.

A friend once told me that God created woman as this is the closest thing one will experience on earth, to His unconditional love. In other words, the only person who can love you more than a woman or a mother is God. How awesome is that?

Pro 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

 Acts 9:36 ……this woman was full of good works and almsdeeds which she did.

You have so much to do and so many people to take care of, family, friends, because you can handle it. Because you are strong enough to love everyone, there is always, somehow a little piece of you left.

On behalf of everyone around you, I want to say thanks for every bit of yourself you sacrifice for those around you.

I also want to remind you to take time to recharge, to re-align and re-energize. Take me time - like a ship sinking says "may day" get a "my day". You need me time, deserve me time and will only be able to give a better part of yourself have you done so.

As a woman you are there to support fellow woman, you are an integral part of a relationship, the keeper of the house (i.e. nothing can happen without you so, you are right they do need you) a professional in the workplace.
As a mother you are the primary caregiver, the most important building block for a safe and happy childhood. You have many hats you have to wear everyday from doctor, to teacher, to principle, to mom, to friend, chef, cleaner, nanny and so the list continues.
As a lover or wife, you need to be a seductress, a friend, a soul mate, always ready and waiting.

And all this in one day! But you can, that's why you are the woman. Women are angels sent by God to look after his cherished ones.

You can carry the world on your shoulders and you would still manage to care for every one. (Even if it doesn’t feel that way)

I would like you to realize the value you have as a woman, your importance in society, you are the one who influences the household, the mood of the coming day, the level of happiness in the house.  If you have children here is a test, notice how long it takes the children and your partner to pick up and reflect your mood?
If you have no children, how long does it take your partner to sense your mood and react to it?  It is so easy to influence those around us merely by our moods, because we hold all the power, as their guardian angels.

I hope this blog has shown you how important you are, not just as a woman or a lover but also as a mother.  I hope you can now look at your chores as deeds of love and service to every one that needs a piece of your heart. And in so doing will continue to enrich every around you and knowing how important your smallest deed is to each and every one of them.

Need a break?

Our lives are a constant rush to get things done. We are running around whether it is for daily chores, our jobs and the house and kids. The list of things to do never stops. You have responsibility to see the family, the friends and make time for your household.

We have to learn to step out of the rat race every once in a while. The reassess our goals and to make sure we are on the right track. Though working hard and being a busy person is not bad being too busy and going without a direction is. We need to congratulate ourselves for our accomplishments, whether it is at home, and work, personal or even just managing to get everything done in a hectic day. Buy yourself that bracelet; take yourself out for that dinner, or a glass of Champaign. You deserve it.

We have to assess our goals constantly to make sure we are heading towards them. It takes lots of baby steps to accomplish something big. Like that big house you have always dreamt of, or that dream holiday. It may take you 10 years to reach that goal but the pay off will be significantly more than if you got it, given to you on a silver platter and your gratitude so much greater.

Success in any endeavor does not happen by accident. Rather, it's the result of deliberate decisions, conscious effort, and immense persistence — all directed at specific goals.

~Gary Ryan Blair

List your goals and also keep a list of the smaller goals that you do achieve. Write them down so you can revert back to them for encouragement.

Every now and then you have to step back from your situation and reassess. Are you stressed, are you tired, do you need a weekend away? Do you need some quiet time; if the answer is yes to any of the above, why not take a break? Learn to say no, to take the time you need to recharge, not only for yourself but for the people around you as well. They will love and respect you for it.

Take a satisfaction break. Make a list of the accomplishments you are proudest of, and then read over your list and appreciate yourself for all your hard work. You've done a lot, so celebrate already!

~M.J. Ryan

Remember taking your break, and reassessing your goals and achievements will give you the strength, perseverance and will to carry on. It will give you the determination to continue in the rat race for your pay off. At the end of the day having a positive outlook because you know where you are heading and this will lead you into the future smiling.

Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

~Viktor E. Frankl

Being a realistic optimist

Being positive is easy when you are in a high spirits, or when things are generally going well.  However when faced with adversity, it is common to regress back into our negative habits. The positives and negatives in our lives are unavoidable, and sporadic calamity is unfortunately beyond our control. This life we live will guarantee good times and bad times because for all things in life there is a season.

Dolly Parton once sang a song with the lyrics, “To everything, turn, turn, turn there is a season.”

It’s important to acknowledge that all the seasons in our life are necessary, and that the very challenging times help to prepare us for our next season of abundance. How can you appreciate the warmth of summer without surviving the harsh realities of winter? In addition, a beautiful spring is more beautiful after experiencing the changing colors of autumn.

When we are having a period of growth and positivity, there is a guarantee of hardship to follow. Anticipate and prepare for this season as best you can without becoming negative in your thought life, and general outlook. Just as you buy a coat for winter in autumn, be prepared for adversity. When you are in this season of hardship know that the wheel will again turn in your favor, as surely as the earth orbits the sun. A fruitful time is approaching and everyday you are closer to the next season of basking in the sunshine with good times.

When things are going well it is natural to focus on the good things. Your outlook of life is so much brighter, and because of this going into harder times may feel overwhelming, but try to concentrate on all you once had, still have, and will have again. Remember the summer in life’s winter. It’s just a matter of time before your warm again.

The wheel is round and never stops turning.

"Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world. What you see reflects your thinking. And your thinking but reflects your choice of what you want to see." (SOURCE a course in Miracles)

It takes courage to reinvent joys, to reinvent opportunities, to reinvent dreams, to reinvent connections, to reinvent hopes that you have set aside.

~Mary Anne Radmacher

We call the shots on how we handle issue’s that come our way, so be a realistic optimist and know that proceeding every harvest comes a famine and after every famine comes a harvest. Every cloud has a silver lining and we need to develop patience to wait for the sun to come up. Incorporate these practices and you will soon find another reason to be optimistic. Concentrate on the way you look at things and take control of your mindset.

Watch out for your negative habits, and be reluctant to return to them! Don’t recall the previous times when undesirable things happened to you, but recall that after every storm follows a period of calm! Don’t submit to the thoughts that get you down and the people who deplete you. Replace these snares with happy thoughts, actions and positive people.

It's the little things that make the big things possible. Only close attention to the fine details of any operation makes the operation first class.

~J. Willard Marriott

Need More Positive Vibes?

Positivity is something we all crave and need, yet it is something we have to work on.

It does not come automatically, it is a change in your thinking, the way you see life, ultimately a change of heart.

This will have a major impact on your life if you can remember the other side of the half empty glass. The glass is also half full. Everything in life has two sides, positive and negative, Ying and Yang. We just have to concentrate on the good side of it.

A dear friend of mine is always bombarded with the bad; she was in a job she hated, verbally abused by customers on a daily basis. How can she be positive? How do you get past the hard things that happen to you on a regular basis?

You are the storyteller of your own life, and you can create the legend or not.
~Isabel Allende

Your life is your story, you write it, you design it, things may come your way but you ultimately decide how they will affect you and what you will do with the story. Are you going to be the HERO or are you going to let life walk all over you?

Take control of your story, of your life, you will be amazed by the results:

Here are some tips on taking back control:

List the good things that happen to you.

Write them down where you will see them regularly, remember the compliments you get. Mull them over, print them to memory. They are harder to remember but mean so much more.

Every morning when you wake up list three things:

Firstly: One thing you are grateful for, whether it is health, a place to stay, your family, this can be anything.

Secondly: List something you like about yourself. Again anything here works. Remember that you can not use the same thing twice; everyday has to be something new.

And lastly if you have a goal, affirm that goal every morning. Whether it is something small or a big career goal, believing in you is the key to achieving that goal.

Surrounding yourself with positive people and thoughts will rub off; it will influence you beyond comprehension. You will begin to draw people towards you. You will impact the people around you giving you more items for your lists.

Remember: very little is needed to make a happy life.
~Marcus Aurelius

Remember to be positive to the people you meet, even if they are rude your optimism and friendliness will leave some ashamed and others uplifted. You never know what they are going through. Be the light in your story that shines into everyone’s lives.